How Writing This Blog Keeps The Smoke Monster At Bay

I spent a lot of time over the weekend, Modern Philosophers, forming Deep Thoughts on the idea that perhaps I write too much.

I’ve never thought there was such a thing as too much writing, especially in the blogging world, where I am free from the constraints of strict Screenwriting format, and can simply ramble on about any topic I desire.

However, in response to my Field of Dreams post from Wednesday, a few regular readers said that they have difficulty keeping up with the blog because there are too many posts.  They suggested I cut back and see what happens.

I must admit that the concept boggled my mind, Modern Philosophers.  Doesn’t logic dictate that if I publish more, I will get more hits?  More articles means I’m casting a wider net to attract a larger audience, right?

Since I’m a Modern Philosopher, though, I pondered on this.  I did not write my regular Saturday Jump Start Your Brain post, nor my Sunday I Advise column.

It didn’t seem right, but I tried it.  Readers began to comment on the missing posts and the idea of my writing too much.  I listened to both sides of the debate.

I tried really hard to not write on Saturday, which would have broken a streak of two and a half years with a daily post.  I just couldn’t do it.

I felt like a character on Lost.  Remember how they believed that they had to keep pushing the button every 108 minutes to avoid catastrophe?

That was me on Saturday.  I tried to fight the urge to publish an article, but a little voice inside my head kept screaming that I needed to push the button.

If I didn’t write a new blog post as I’d done every day for two and a half years, my island would explode.  I’m not a good swimmer, Modern Philosophers, so I really wouldn’t do well out in the middle of the ocean if my island was gone.

So I wrote an article.  Fittingly, the post that saved my island was about why the Archangel Rachel has not been around The House on the Hill lately.  Some of you have figured out that the Archangel is the bloglification (patent pending) of The Girl Who Moved Away.

I started this blog, on her orders (she really did demand that I create this), to help keep me distracted while she was away at school.  Over the past two years, while the blog has grown to have over 12,000 followers, The Girl I Love has slowly vanished from my life.

While the blog is a constant, painful reminder of how much I miss her, it is also the one thing keeping me sane.  I’ve set a goal to write every day, and by achieving that goal, I can honestly say that I’m a writer.  Even if I’m not selling screenplays or I don’t have another movie in production, I’m still a writer because I create something original for this blog every damn day.

And I don’t just mail it in.  This blog has a mythology as deep and maybe even better thought out than the one on Lost.

I’m constantly introducing new characters, adding to the story, and laying the groundwork for a series of books based upon the adventures at The House on the Hill.

I’m also writing poetry, short stories, sharing behind the scenes info from The Nite Show, and giving you any news I am allowed to divulge on my screenwriting career.

This blog is what keeps me going.  It is what has prevented me from completely losing it after The Girl Who Owns My Heart came home for Christmas, talked about how she couldn’t wait to see me, and then not only never showed up, but also basically stopped communicating with me for the past four months.

Writing this blog, continuing to push that button, and never giving up hope about being rescued from this damn deserted island of my broken heart is what gives me the courage to look the smoke monster in the eye and give it the finger.

I need to keep writing, and write often, to remind me that I’m more than just a guy who lost the Love of his Life because he encouraged her to chase her dream.

I’m a writer taking advantage of my time stuck in the middle of nowhere, to ponder life’s mysteries, turn the mundane into silly stories, and build a tribe over 12,000 strong to remind me that I’m not alone.

Yes, I write a lot, and that’s not going to change.  I’d be truly lost if it did…