Happy Earth Day, Ya Big Blue Marble!

earthDear Earth,

Happy Earth Day!

I don’t know if anyone has bothered to take the time to wish you happiness on your special day.

On behalf of the Human Race, Other Worldly Beings, and all other forms of life, this Modern Philosopher thanks you for continuing to spin around the Sun and never diverting from your path.

I’ve always been a little unclear as to what Earth Day was all about.  I’m pretty sure it either commemorates the day Earth way invented, or it celebrates Earth’s independence from the Evil Martian Overlords.

Either way, both those things happened well before I was ever born, but I still enjoy the Holiday nevertheless.

porchI’m taking advantage of the gorgeous weather to sit out on the porch of The House on the Hill to write this letter to my home planet.

The birds are singing, children are laughing, the Sun is blazing, and there’s a gentle breeze blowing to make it all just right.

I know we haven’t done the best job of taking care of this big blue marble that we call home, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t love it here.

There is no place else in the Universe I’d rather be.

When I was kid growing up on the mean streets of Brooklyn, I used to have a globe in my bedroom.  I’d spin the globe, have my finger land on a country, and then get out the encyclopedia and read about that place.  Since I was young and impressionable, I thought that countries were actually the color that they were depicted on the globe.

Once I realized that couldn’t be true, I tried to figure out (my first Deep Thoughts?) if there was a pattern to the coloring on the globe.  Did all the green nations have something in common?  Did the pink ones have a larger female population than other countries?  Were people living in the yellow countries happier?

But I digress, dear Earth.  This is supposed to be a love letter to you, but rather than gushing over you, I am reminiscing about my youth.

earth topI don’t know how you put up with us day after day, century after century.  We’ve cut down your forests, polluted your waters, scorched your earth, and torn holes in your ozone layer.

Thank you for never holding that against us.

Sure, we’ve produced countless movies, TV shows, works of literature, and pieces of art depicting the end of the world, but that doesn’t mean any of us ever want to see that happen.  Knowing that it could all end makes us treasure you even more.

As I sit out here, staring up at the fluffy white clouds in the perfectly blue sky, I wonder how in the world we don’t all fall off the planet and hurtle into space.

Seriously, can anyone explain that to me?  It’s a giant ball.  Some of us are on the bottom half of it.  Shouldn’t we be floating in space towards a certain doom?

I never was good with Science.  I guess I’ll just stick to Philosophy.

Thanks for casting whatever magic spell it is that keeps me securely anchored to the ground.  Thanks for never evicting us.  Thanks for looking the other way when the parties and the fights get out of control.

earth spaceMost of all, thanks for always being here!

Happy Earth Day, Ya Big Blue Marble!


Austin (on behalf of all life on the planet)

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Happy Earth Day, Ya Big Blue Marble!

  1. D. Parker says:

    You sent your snow up here to us, didn’t you, Austin? No worries, it’s strangely beautiful.
    Happy Earth Day!!! 🙂

  2. markbialczak says:

    Happy Earth Day, Austin!

  3. henriettamross14 says:

    Was that your humour or a series question? Re flying off to space

  4. Christie says:

    Happy Earth Day Austin!

    Your post got me reminiscing about my own childhood. I also had a globe, and did the same thing you did, except for trying to figure out the hidden meaning of the colors of the countries. That’s a little weird 😉

    Do you remember the tv show The Big Blue Marble? It was on in the early 70’s, (I’m old) and you could write in and they’d match you up with pen pals from around the world. I had one in Malaysia and one in Zambia. We stayed in contact for years. I wish I knew what they were up to today.

    Great, now I’m sad…

  5. I remember the Big Blue Marble being on PBS. Great show.

  6. Enjoyed this very much. Happy earth day!!

  7. Anita Stout says:

    What? Was there a cake? I miss everything. Nice letter to the marble. I’ll bet you get better weather as a result!

  8. Anita Stout says:

    PS The bit about the colors on the globe cracked me up!

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