I Advise You To Run Towards The Light

BlutoDear Modern Philosophers,

Happy Sunday!  I thought I’d mix it up a little today and use the Sunday advice column to write a letter to you.  Who doesn’t love getting mail?

Yesterday, I wrote about being in a funk, and I appreciated all the suggestions you sent for defunkifying my life.  I’m going to turn the tables, and give you some advice on the topic now.

I advise you to run towards the light!

Put on your running toga, lace up your sneakers, and hit the road.  Run in the direction of the Sun, and think of it as the glowing hope that the future holds for you.  Let it warm you, envelope you, and light the way towards happiness.

And even if none of that works, you’ll still get a decent workout and the runner’s high will chase away the funk for a little while.

It’s a win/win situation.

That’s exactly what I did this morning.  It was grey and gloomy, but I knew the Sun had to be out there somewhere.  Otherwise, life as we know it would’ve ended already.

I’ll admit, I have not been running much lately.  In my defense, it has been cold and rainy much of the past week.  However, I think the real reason was that my personal forecast has been mostly lazy, with a high probability of serious slacker storms.

Austin SundayI got out there and ran towards the light.  Sure, it was a bit of a struggle as it had been a week since my last run, but I know how to survive on the mean, sweaty streets of Bangor.

I kept myself distracted.  I had the Foo Fighters Pandora station blasting in my ears, and in my head, I had Deep Thoughts about writing projects knocking around to set the pace.

Danny sent the list of Nite Show monologue joke topics this morning, so I spent the first couple of miles coming up with some jokes.

For the last mile, I mentally outlined the e-book idea that has been simmering on the back burner of my brain for the past couple of days.  I think that one might finally be ready to be moved onto the page.  I’m excited about that.

To my surprise, I made it to the last leg of my run without stopping.  As you can see from the above photo, however, I was pretty woozy.  I’d left a river of sweat behind me, and the serious loss of bodily fluids had my check engine light flashing as I approached that last, harrowing hill on my route.

Thankfully, Pandora sensed my troubles and selected Foo Fighters’ “Best of You” just as I hit that last incline.  With Dave Grohl growling about how he hoped someone was getting the best of me, I reached deep down and found just enough will power and lung capacity to get up that hill and coast home to The House on the Hill.

The timing of it was perfect because the song ended just as I collapsed on the porch, and the station played a couple of commercials.  I never would’ve made it that last quarter of a mile if I only had an ad for some local medical practice to spur me forward.

I finished the 3 mile adventure in 29:00.  That was a pleasant surprise.

just runSo the lesson in all this, Modern Philosophers, is to fight the funk by running towards the bright sunlight.  Leave the doom and gloom in your rear view, and let the sweat and muscular mayhem move you to a better place.

I’ve got some serious writing to do now.  Actually it’s monologue joke writing, so I mean “serious” in another sense of the word.

Regardless, I’m pumped now and confident about cranking out some great jokes.  Why don’t you see what a good run can do for you?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to I Advise You To Run Towards The Light

  1. D. Parker says:

    Run, Austin, run!!! I thought I had an energetic morning, but now it looks positively anemic. 😉

  2. Christie says:

    Way to go Austin! I haven’t run in 31 years. I think it would literally kill me. I may be able to manage a brisk walk today though. In fact, I think I’ll do just that!

  3. treyzguy says:

    I liked this one. Positive approach for a Sunday morning…

  4. Good job! I had a great run yesterday (and wrote a blog post about it), but this morning I hung out with my husband till he had to go to work. We may walk later, if the poocher wants to (she seems a little better). I, too, must defunkify.

  5. ksbeth says:

    Great strategy )

  6. George says:

    Glad you’re feeling much better.

  7. Anita Stout says:

    Yes, you could be a life coach who writes monologues for his clients. Congrats on the good run.

  8. AthenaC says:

    Makes a lot of sense – I feel so much better about myself and everything when I work out regularly. Don’t run though – can’t do that anymore.

  9. markbialczak says:

    Way to run it out, Rocky. I can see you on the steps in Philly. I took a good walk with Ellie B aka Dogamous Pyle today. That’s my running, Austin.

  10. Pamela Edwards says:

    Good Job Austin !!

  11. Pingback: How to De-Funkify? | Mohawk Valley Girl

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