A (Torture) Room With A View

keep wrtingWhile the Writer’s Day Holiday is supposed to be a chance for me to revel in another successful taping of The Nite Show, while also getting work done on new writing projects, today had a bit of a twist.

I had to go to the dentist (cue the scary music!) so he could fill a tiny cavity (cue the scarier music!) he found at my last cleaning.

He promised it would be quick and painless, but I don’t trust dentists, I fear dentists, and I am a big baby when it comes to going to the dentist.

So when the dental assistant came out to the waiting room to get me, I offered to allow any of the other patients to go on ahead of me.  They all chuckled, but none of the cowards actually took me up on my offer.

My dentist recently moved to a new location right on the Penobscot River.  As I settled into the (torture) chair in the (torture) room (chamber), I noticed that I had an amazing view.

At least I’d have something to look at as the (inquisitor) dentist, (tortured) worked on me.  Here are some photos from my (harrowing) visit…

Rand 1See what I mean?  What a gorgeous view across the Penobscot River into Bangor.

Rand 2There’s the bridge and the damn drill they planned to use on me!!!  I made sure to get a photo of it just in case I filed a report with Amnesty International down the line.

Rand 3It’s almost as pretty as a postcard…if people were to send postcards from the locations from which they were being tortured.

Wish you were here…to take my place!!!

Rand 4I was intrigued by this view.  You’ve got the brand new building, the old building, and then just dirt and hill.  Things are much more interesting as the Novocaine kicks in I guess…

Rand 5I took some shots from the parking lot after a team of Navy SEALS burst in to rescue me.

Remember the photos I posted earlier in the month?  This very same river was still covered in ice.  What a difference a few weeks makes…

Rand 6There was a dog in that car, and it kept barking at me as I took photos.  It probably just wanted me to take its picture, but I’m more of a cat photographer.

Rand 7I might come back some time and run along this path.  I don’t think it goes very far, but with a view like that, I might not mind.

Rand 8When I was upstairs getting drilled, there were dozens of ducks swimming in the river.

I stood there in the parking lot, like a modern day Tony Soprano, waiting for the ducks to return.  They never did.

Just imagine them in this photo.  They were pretty cool.

Three hours later, I’ve gone for a run, and done some writing, but my lip, cheek, and tongue are still numb.  I’d really like to eat, but I’m afraid I’ll bite off my tongue in the process.  I told you this was torture!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to A (Torture) Room With A View

  1. Christie says:

    Ugh! Going to the dentist is the WORST! I had a horrible experience when I was a kid. My dentist, who incidentally looked just like Captain Kangaroo, filled a bunch of teeth with no Novocaine (the sadistic jerk!) I’ve been terrified of dentists ever since. Not just going to the dentist either. If I see a dentist in the grocery store or while I’m getting the oil changed in my car, I run away screaming and flailing my arms. I’m glad you survived your ordeal!

    The pictures are very nice, too bad about the ducks!

  2. Sandy Ramsey says:

    I wish I had that kind of view from the chair I was in last week! Don’t eat no matter how hungry you are….I’m here to warn you. I did because I was starving and because the right side of my face was numb I couldn’t feel it as I was literally eating my own cheek. It took a week to heal. Gross, I know. But I’m just trying to help.

  3. Anita Stout says:

    That numb thing drives me so nuts that I’m willing to submit to short term torture in order to avoid the long time slurred speech. NEVER try to win an argument while under the influence of Novocaine. The spitting and slurring make it difficult to be taken seriously.
    My most harrowing dental story was of such numbness. After leaving the office and being told not to eat solid foods until the feeling returned I declared ice cream cones to be liquid and had a chocolate one with my daughter (then 5) before going to the mall. People were amazingly helpful and friendly that day and EVERYONE was smiling. It was great – until I pulled into the driveway and my daughter said: “Mom. You’re so silly. You still have that ice-cream on your face.” One look in the mirror explained all the smiles. It was not just a dab but covered my whole upper lip like a misshaped mustache. I only shop at that mall incognito now. Glad you lived to tell the tale – and share the pics.

  4. markbialczak says:

    That is quite the view from your dentist’s chair, Austin. You sure he’s not going to charge you double the usual fee for the scenery?

    The numb thing is odd. I have taken drinks of coffee afterward and not been able to tell if it’s been hot or cold, the liquid feeling both at once because of the lasting effect of the novacaine. Not until the blisters came up did I know it was red-hot. No, not that bad … Glad you got some mashed potatoes down!

  5. jan says:

    I have bitten my tongue while under novocaine and it was awful. You can’t really put a bandaid on your boo-boo, you know. They get soggy and you look a bit silly. Glad you survived!

  6. A LOT of us are big fat babies about the dentist (some of us fatter than others). I’m not even hungry when I’m numb (ME not hungry? SAY IT AIN’T SO!). But what views! Only a few of the shots also featured parts of the dentist office, rendering them suitable for use in a horror movie. The contrast, the irony… it’s genius! Even under fear and novocaine. Feel proud.

  7. At least you can take novocaine, 😦 I need the injections that don’t have novocaine in them so that means more of them and they don’t last long. Needless to say the dentist office is pure torture. Glad your experience wasn’t that bad, and you had some nice views. Eat some ice cream!! 🙂

  8. Sabina says:

    My torturous dentist office at home also has an excellent view. Makes it much more tolerable, but is also a total tease.

    • Austin says:

      The room I go to for my cleanings has no view. They save the view for the torture. I made sure to point out that observation to my dentist. 🙂

  9. Pamela Edwards says:

    Beautiful view & great pics ! Nobody looks forward to the dentist but it would be a little nicer if i had a view like this , my dentist view is a parking lot . So glad you survived Austin !

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s