Mama Didn’t Raise Any Rejects!

Weird Al 1Happy Mother’s Day, Modern Philosophers!  Hope everyone is enjoying this special day.

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night.  It was the one with Weird Al’s surprise cameo, so it was an instant classic.  I still can’t get “Amish Paradise” out of my head!

As I do every Sunday after a new Nite Show hits the air, I am going to share some of my jokes that didn’t make it into Danny’s monologue.

Can I get some applause for the Sunday Rejects?  Those of you who don’t want to play along can just Eat It!  Sorry, but a nod to Weird Al was totally needed there…

Nite Show Dan and LukeEd Sheeran is performing next Sunday at the Bangor Waterfront.  If you don’t know who Ed Sheeran is, then you are definitely this show’s target audience…

David Letterman’s final Late Show airs on Wednesday.  On Friday, he will be batting seventh and playing right field for the Birmingham Barons…

David Letterman’s last Late Show airs on Wednesday.  That means that on Thursday, I officially become the lovable curmudgeon of CBS’ late night lineup…

The Logger’s Expo was held this weekend at the Cross Insurance Center.  Bangor hasn’t seen that much wood in one place since it hosted the Adult Film Convention…

The 2015 Senior Expo is being held next weekend at the Cross Insurance Center.  I advise you to get there early because I have a feeling all the handicap parking spaces are going to be snatched up very quickly…

Nite Show LukeTomorrow is the Color Bangor 5K.  Come witness your friends and neighbors being turned into living, breathing, sweating Jackson Pollock paintings, all in the name of a good cause…

A Jehovah’s Witness convention is being held this week in Portland.  Don’t worry if you can’t make it, though.  Organizers will just slip a pamphlet under your door with all the information you need…

The Simpsons wraps up its 26th season tomorrow night.  The show has been on so long that the Season Finale features Bart getting his first colonoscopy…

The Season Finale of Survivor airs Wednesday night on CBS.  After months of backstabbing, plotting, lying, breaking promises, and forming alliances, a winner will finally be announced.  Isn’t it frightening how much a season of Survivor sounds like a Presidential campaign?

Today was the Old Orchard Beer Fest on the Pier.  Come for the beer, but stay to watch the drunk idiots piss into the ocean…

On this day in history in 1836, Edgar Allen Poe married his 13 year old cousin.  Now I completely understand why he wrote such disturbing stories…

Nite Show Mallett BrosMemorial Day is quickly approaching.  Not only is it the unofficial start of Summer, but it is also now the official start of butt crack season at Wal-Mart…

What did you think of the Sunday Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of them make you laugh?  Do you wish you could have been there for Weird Al’s cameo?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  You can also support the show by liking its Facebook Page, checking out videos on its YouTube Channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Mama Didn’t Raise Any Rejects!

  1. markbialczak says:

    Ha! Bart and his colonscopy. Best of the reject to me today, Austin. 🙂

  2. grannyK says:

    Love the Simpsons and Survivor ones!!

  3. cvnadagroup2017 says:

    happy mother’s day….hehehe

  4. jan says:

    Hahaha to them all but I’m going with the Bart and his colonoscopy for the win!

  5. floridaborne says:

    I just came from Walmart. How true!!!!

    Several good ones got cut.

  6. 26 seasons! With how long the Simpsons has been on it’s a miracle that Homer’s still alive and Bart’s not in jail.

  7. ksbeth says:

    liked the presidential campaign joke the best )

  8. List of X says:

    David Letterman final show airs Wednesday – and I will finally have no competition. 🙂

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