Like they say, silence can be deafening.
The days after my divorce were definitely the darkest of my life. I thought the silence at The House on the Hill was either going to consume me, or drive me mad. This is such a large house, so to suddenly be all alone in it with most of the furniture gone was an experience that was simply unnerving.
My ex-wife and I had been together since my Sophomore year at NYU. I had grown used to her always being there, the constant conversation, the sound of her puttering in the kitchen or working on the computer.
There was always some other noise in the house, and someone else who had vowed to be there to speak to me for better or worse.
When that person and her noise abandoned The House on the Hill, the silence made itself right at home.
It got so bad that I actually missed her snoring that would often wake me up in the middle of the night.
I didn’t realize how much noise Banky generated until his meows, purrs, and scampering across the hardwood floors were taken from me.
Of course, I had the sound of my crying to break the silence, but that didn’t do much to make me feel better.
Luckily, Cali and Luna arrived a month later, and silence hit the road. The way those two furry little monsters raise hell in this place, I was sure silence would never return.
Unfortunately, it came calling again. Ever since Christmas, I’ve received the silent treatment from the person who used to fill my life with joy, laughter, silliness, and love.
If you ever want to torture me, Modern Philosophers, give me the silent treatment.
The shunning does things to my insecurities that you couldn’t even imagine. It’s one thing to be ignored by someone who doesn’t really matter to you, but to be banished to the land of silence by someone you love is a cruel and unusual punishment.
Since I am stronger now, I have been able to lessen the power that silence holds over me. I’ve filled the quiet with new noises that move my life forward.
On Monday, an odd thing happened. There were several people out sick at work, and while it was an extremely busy day, it was incredibly quiet. Noticeably so.
Our office space is not set up well for privacy, so you hear every conversation going on around you. As you know, some coworkers are just more…loquacious than others. The new found silence was nice and certainly welcome.
When I returned to the office today, the noise was almost intolerable. After so much silence, it was the constant chatter and the ringing of phones that seemed maddening. I missed the silence.
Silence, once my sworn enemy, is now a desired companion. Isn’t it weird how things change as you evolve and become more secure in who you are?
I’ll take your silence to mean that you agree…