Lightweight Champion

beerI’m going

For a beer

A little later,

Which should be

An adventure.

Please recall,

My friends,

That I am

The reigning

Lightweight Champion.

Though I stand

6 feet 3 inches tall,

I drink

As if I were

6 years 3 months old.

A leaky bucket

Holds its liquor

Better than I.

After round one,

Which saw

The Champ

Acting silly

And growing


He comes out


For the

Second round.

Did you

Not know

That when




I also become



Hide your wives

And daughters

Because the Champ

Has made it

To the second round!

I’m sure

That means

Romantic poems

Will be written,

Flirty emails

Will be sent,

And let’s

Just pray

I cannot




Because if I do,

I might

Just call

To say

I love you.


No, seriously!

When people

Ask me

Why I

Rarely drink,

I tell them

To give me

Their number.

And I promise

I will answer

Their question

The next time

The Lightweight Champ

Steps into

The drink.

I’m going

For a beer

A little later.

If you’re


I just


Tell you

All about it,


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Poetry and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Lightweight Champion

  1. Great poem! It’s rhythmic and silly.

  2. D. Parker says:

    Have fun and take a supernatural cab home.

  3. I have to delete so many blog entries…and facebook posts…after a beer. Or two.

  4. hollie says:

    Practice makes perfect, Austin you don’t have to continue to be a lightweight. Cheers!

  5. markbialczak says:

    A flirty, tipsy lightweight sure as heck beats the sideways staggering angry guy who thinks he’s the heavyweight champ, Austin. Just saying.

  6. Time to get started on Austin’s Chapbook. I’ll read it repeatedly.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s