You Never Forget Your First Mow Job

House on the Hill SpringI have been putting off mowing the lawn for as long as possible, Modern Philosophers, because once you give in to the task, you become the grass’ bitch.

That’s the law of the land, baby.  If you want to live away from the big city and have a little patch of green to call your own, you’ve got to put in the work to see to its upkeep.

And that, Modern Philosophers, means putting on your groundskeeper toga every weekend, and pushing the lawn mower up the steep hill on which The Great Lawn of The House on the Hill has taken root.

To Hell with my allergies (and they have been very bad the last two days) because the grass is always greener once it’s been cut back down to size.

Lawn 10It was bad, Modern Philosophers.  I meant to mow it last weekend, but I got very caught up in working on my e-book.  Excellent excuse, right?

Lawn 9From the Groundhog Cam, you can see how badly the grass needed a haircut.

Of course, in the background, you can see Janine’s perfectly manicured lawn, which really put the pressure on me to get to work.

Lawn 8The House on Dandelion Hill.  I was going to put off mowing until tomorrow, but one look at this mess made me realize today was the day.

Lawn 7First Law of Lawn Care Physics: A lawn mower at rest remains at rest unless a lazy Modern Philosopher puts it in motion.

Yes, I actually have a back up lawn mower.  This former Boy Scout is always prepared.

Lawn 6The mighty beast awakens from its slumber.

Actually, it didn’t awaken right away.  It took me about thirty tugs to finally get it purring.  Guess I’ll have to see if they have Viagra for lawn mowers because it really shouldn’t take that much work to get it going.

Lawn 5A live action shot!  Do not try this at home, Modern Philosophers.  There was a trained professional working the camera and the lawn mower!

Lawn 4Damn that lawn is looking good in yet another action shot!  Who else posts awesome lawn mowing action like this?

Lawn 3Looking good, right?  I got out the rake and work gloves to clean up the clippings and make sure the lawn looked good enough for Janine to picnic on.

Lawn 2Groundhog Cam footage confirms that The Great Lawn looks much better with a crew cut.

Lawn 1Definitely worth the effort.  Good to see the grass coming back with a flourish despite having all that snow piled on it for so long.

Who wants to mow my lawn next week?  Submit your entries now in the comments section, and I’ll announce the winner next Saturday morning.

It’s worth a shot, right?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to You Never Forget Your First Mow Job

  1. jan says:

    Can I be an honorary virtual mower?

  2. dfolstad58 says:

    Shall I call you the lawn barber? A little of the top perhaps?

  3. grannyK says:

    I should take pics of our lawn. It takes forever to do it! Almost a half acre of grass to mow and weeds to control. It sure takes a chunk of the weekend! But I do love our grapes, apples, berries and plums! I will trade you. I will mow yours and you mow mine next week? lol It was worth a try.

  4. D. Parker says:

    I need a mow job too, but it wouldn’t be the first, third time’s a charm so far this Spring. 😉
    You did an excellent job, Austin and the live action shots were thrilling. 🙂

  5. markbialczak says:

    Man, you let it go to hay, Austin. I’m surprised you got the push mower through it! And raking up the clips … Good job. Janine is proud of you, I bet.

  6. barbtaub says:

    Best. Blog title. Ever.

  7. Moving the lawn is exercise and the payoff is a neat piece of green. Looks awesome. You did a wonderful job an I’m not applying for the job. I’ve cut laws aplenty and have hung up my mower for good. 😀 😀 😀

  8. Christie says:

    I cut my back lawn earlier in the week after buying a new self-propelled mower. What a difference! Took me under an hour and it usually took me two days. I just didn’t have the stamina to push the old one up my sloped back yard. Both my neighbors cut the front yard for me. Turns out if you live next to people who are completely anal about their grass and you let yours get overgrown and full of weeds, they will worry that the dandelion seeds will infect their perfect lawns. I think I’m brilliant!

    Lawn mower Viagra made me chuckle!

  9. Yep… looks good! But you are quite right. Once you give in to that first cut, it’s going to be cut city all summer long. BOO. Still, the alternative is pretty unbearable. Grass seed allergies and all… 🙂

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