When you spend sixteen years of your life with someone, it’s difficult to stop thinking of a certain day of the year as her birthday. This is especially true when you wear the toga of a Modern Philosopher, and your Deep Thoughts never stop.
Today is my ex-wife’s birthday. Don’t worry. I’m not sad, obsessed, or secretly singing Happy Birthday and eating a cake with her name on it. I just don’t like to tie up brain cells on thoughts that aren’t deep and are linked to painful memories.
I did have other things on my mind today, but the fact that it was J’s birthday was still lurking in a deep, dark corner of my brain. I tried to push it completely into the darkness and lock it in the Vault Thou Shalt Not Opened, but there were just too many candles on her cake this year. Their glow cast a shadow on the rest of my thoughts.
I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, Modern Philosophers: there is anything to gain from harboring any ill will towards my ex-wife. We’ve been divorced for over a decade, and I very rarely think about her. Except, of course, when she invades my dreams, which annoys me to no end.
And on June 11. Grrrr.
I was at work, trying to block out the cacophony of sound that dominates the office, and simply concentrate on what I’m chained to my desk to do. That proved impossible, though, because the voice of one of my coworkers suddenly rose above the din.
She was not happy with her husband, and she gave him an earful about it over the phone. This is someone who rarely loses her temper or has anything unkind to say about a person, so her outburst definitely made an impression on me.
When she was done giving him what for and had hung up the call, she vented a little to the rest of us just to get it all off her chest.
And to be fair, I had dealt out some as well. When you are good with words, you tend to use them well when you are angry and want to make a point.
I turned to the coworker at the desk next to mine, and said, “I was feeling a little down today because it’s my ex-wife’s birthday. After listening to that conversation, though, I suddenly don’t miss being married. In fact, I’m quite happy to be divorced.”
And that’s all it took, Modern Philosophers. The vault door slammed shut and brain cells were freed up for more worthwhile endeavors. I wrote down this idea on a sticky note because I knew it would make a great blog post for tonight, but then it was out of my head.
I had other things on my mind. Like the annual Antfestation (patent pending) taking place at The House on the Hill. Every year around this time, when it finally gets warm, the ants come marching. My neighbors experience the same trouble, and it makes me very antsy. (Sorry, but I had to go there and you would’ve been disappointed if I hadn’t!)
I spent time last night researching kitty safe ant traps, and planned to stop for some on the way home. On a whim, however, I thought I’d ask my date from last week if she had any thoughts on pet safe ant control.
She suggested the stuff on the left. I’d never heard of it, but she is a smart woman who has horses, so I decided to trust her opinion on animal safety.
The guys in the hardware store agreed that it was the best choice for me, and it took them awhile, but they finally hunted down that container.
I have been reading up on it online since I’ve been home, and it apparently works miracles.
Do you see what happened there, Modern Philosophers? While I started the day trying to block out the thoughts of someone who’d once done horrible things to my heart, I’ve ended it by thinking about someone who is showing that she has the knack for making my heart beat a little faster.
So, on this Throwback Thursday, I threw out some thoughts that didn’t deserve my time and set my mind on the future.
I am sure that both Doc and Marty would be very proud of me!
Do certain days of the year drudge up unpleasant memories for you? How do you fight them? More importantly, how do you fight ants?