Seriously, Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat???

Austin skinnyAs you can see from the photo on the left, Modern Philosophers, I was much skinnier before I started writing this blog.

Of course, almost three years ago, I had a beautiful 24 year old dragging me to the gym and inspiring me to be the best possible version of myself.

I lost 50 lbs on my Gorgeous Girlfriend Fitness Plan, and I highly recommend it to anyone who is serious about getting into better shape.

It all seemed to go downhill for me in the fitness department, though, when I started this blog.  I’m not sure what it is about blogging that screws with my metabolism, but it’s obvious, when you examine the timeline, that it was setting out on this daily writing adventure that led me to rediscovering a much larger version of myself.

I met with the Health Coach at work today.  For all the silliness I post about being chained to my desk at work, my employer is very generous when it comes to Wellness.

We get a $250 stipend every year to spend on anything wellness/fitness related.  So those new sneakers and running shorts I bought last week didn’t end up costing me a dime.

scaleWe also get a steep discount on our health insurance if we hit certain wellness goals, and we have the Health Coach at our disposal to discuss exercise goals, diet plans, and workout options.  It’s quite nice.

In talking to the Health Coach today, I mentioned that I was in much better shape before I started my blog.  I also added that it was much easier to hit my workout goals when The Girl Who Looked Amazing In Running Shorts And A Jogging Bra was there to smile proudly at me when I kicked ass at the gym.

We discussed how much my self image is linked to my relationship status.  When I was madly in love, I would’ve done anything to make my Sweetheart happy.  Going to the gym was just another way to spend time with her, running hard was a way to impress her, and looking so fit and handsome was how I got her to look at me with such love in her eyes.

Seeing her smile at me, having her feel my muscles, and listening to her compliment how handsome I looked was all the inspiration I needed.  I knew I was much older than her and she was far too good looking for a dorky boy from Brooklyn, so I wanted to be in the best shape possible to prove that I was not only worthy of her heart, but also that I was going to be around to grow very old with her.

Austin wiffleNow, it’s a Catch 22.  My self image isn’t very good, so I’m convinced that no one wants to date me.  I tell myself that if I workout and dropped some weight, it will boost my confidence.

Until I realize that working out reminds me of my old gym partner, which makes me miss her and not want to do something that is so linked to her in my heart and mind.

I become a pouting little boy who believes that no one wants to play with him.

I’m telling you, Modern Philosophers, this blog is to blame for my being so out of shape.  I used to run 5 miles four times a week, lift weights, go to the gym, do pushups on the floor of my office just for fun, and play basketball on my lunch breaks.

Then I started this blog, and I stopped doing all those things.

Maybe it’s the pressure of being a blogger.  Perhaps the success of it has gone to my head.  There’s a possibility it has to do with fans of my blog buying me dessert when they see me out in public.  Of course, it doesn’t help that I wear these baggy togas all the time.

I just wish I could figure out how to balance blogging and fitness.  I teol the Health Coach about my idea to try to get off work early a couple of days a week so I can go for a run.  I’ve tried getting up early to get in my miles before work, but that’s been a struggle.

Austin YankeesIf I can make this plan work, then I’d have a certain time set aside for running, and less excuses.  There would definitely still be time to exercise and write this blog.

Then maybe when I get back into shape, women will want to go out with me again.

I hate that this blog is the reason I’ve become physically unfit, but I can’t think of any other change in my life at that time that could be responsible.  It’s just so weird…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Fitness, Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Seriously, Does This Blog Make Me Look Fat???

  1. List of X says:

    Have you considered biking to work and back?

  2. grannyK says:

    Maybe just blog 2 or 3 times a week? Your posts are worth waiting for!

    • Austin says:

      It was more of a tongue in cheek post. I need to increase running, not cut back on the writing!

      • grannyK says:

        I usually pick up on these things, but I thought you was seriously thinking of stopping blogging or something! I’m too selfish to want that LOL. I enjoy your writing. Sorry I misunderstood, but I’m relieved!

      • Austin says:

        I will keep writing. Don’t you worry. It’s the only way to let the crazy out of my head safely. 🙂

  3. LOL, I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the title of this post pop up in my Twitter feed (sorry)!

    Laughs aside, my best advice would be to do what makes you happy, life is too short for anything else. I certainly wouldn’t let an ex put you off going to the gym, whilst she might have been your motivation back then, you should be showing her what she’s missing now!!

    Your blog is top priority though, of course… 😀

  4. amommasview says:

    Make sure you don’t drink too many Snapples with the devil…

  5. Christie says:

    Personally I prefer a man with a little meat on his bones. I have a hard and fast rule about not entering into a relationship with any man who has smaller thighs than I do.

    But, If your goal is to be more fit, perhaps try something new, so it won’t remind you of your old workout partner.

  6. Glenda says:

    Hey, Austin, if it helps any (and I doubt it will) if I lived in Maine – you lucky bastard – I’d definitely play with you. My posterior has become wider over the years in general, and middle age has been unkind. I need to get a workout buddy! Having said that, I shall paraphrase Occam’s Razor here – all things being the same, the simplest solution is usually the best. You just have to make it a priority in your daily schedule, just as I need to. From what you have written, you’ll probably feel more confident when you flirt with the checkout girl at your local grocery store, and she’ll ask you out for a date!

  7. plaguedparents says:

    I bet if you track the timeline, the blog has become an emotional and physical outlet that exercise once filled (not to mention the past relationship). Read two books: “Eat and Run” by ultra-runner Scott Jurek; and “Born to Run” by Chris McDougall. Also check out another ultra-runner Rich Roll (

    It is hard having someone you love fade from your life, it is like losing breath. Words fill the space, and having an audience helps… but it can also hurt as well. The satisfaction you once gained from your Sweetheart’s compliments regarding our fitness accomplishments has been replaced by a community of followers commenting here on your work (pardon the armchair psychology). The mind-body connection however isn’t quite the same, though, is it?

    Now its time for you to run. Put on those new sneaks, new shorts and go outside. Breathe in the air, feel the pavement, listen to your heartbeat (no iPod, ok), cheer yourself on as you go from blocks to miles and get yourself in fighting shape. Best part is you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Your blog will blossom further, you will trim down, your mind will clear, your heart will open and who knows, you may even meet a new training partner literally around the corner.

    My wife Tina says she messages you now and then; feel free to contact me anytime. I am training for a race in the fall and we can train together virtually. You can do this! Let me know if I can be of any help, any time. Be well, Tony

  8. Trish says:

    I would take a guy with a good, kind heart over a guy running 100 miles a week any day…..just sayin’.

  9. Ocean Bream says:

    Oooh you’re not alone there! When I stopped cycling 15-25 miles daily I lost my abs and gained a pudgy little pooch instead because of blogging/writing. Well here are some motivational wishes to get up and going! I got a new pair of light running shoes and am going to try to run 6 days a week. Lulls happen, you will get back on track soon enough!

  10. markbialczak says:

    Twenty sit-ups before you can start a blog post. Ten push-ups if you type the name The Girl Who. Five squat thrusts every time you write the phrase I used to …

    There’s a weight loss plan right there, Austin.

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