Are My Allergies Confederate Flag Related?

flag“No, Austin, your allergies are not related to the Confederate flag,” Dr. Jekyll answered emphatically as he studied my chart during my office visit.

I sneezed.  Right on cue.  “Look at that, Doc.  You mentioned the Confederate flag and I sneezed.”

I sneezed again.

Dr. Jekyll shook his head in disappointment.  “According to your chart, your IQ is very high.  When you come in here asking if your allergies are linked to the Confederate flag, however, I begin to suspect that I have the wrong patient’s chart.”

I knew Dr. Jekyll was right, Modern Philosophers, but my allergies have gotten worse over the last few days, which just so happens to coincide with all the nonsense in the news about the flag from the former Confederate States of America.

The American flag in the above photo flies proudly from The House on the Hill (I’m certainly not going to post a photo of the other one!).  I mowed that gorgeous front lawn in the shadow of Old Glory the other day, and I did not sneeze once.

For those of you keeping track at home, I mow the lawn under the watchful eye of the Stars and Stripes, and my allergies don’t bother me.  Merely mention the Confederate Flag in my presence, though, and I start sneezing.


I know I’m just a guy in a toga, and not some fancy pants doctor, but there looks like there’s some connection there.

Has anyone else found that the mention of a certain flag aggravates the allergies?

After I graduated from high school, my family moved to Richmond, the former capital of the Confederacy.  While I never lived in Virginia, I did visit a couple of times and two things left a lasting impression on me:

All the Confederate flags and the statues of Confederate heroes on Monument Avenue.

I’ve never really understood why the South clings so much to its Confederate roots.  People love to remind us that the South shall rise again, but I don’t think that the U.S. Military takes that as a serious threat.

The Civil War was not a good time in this great country’s history.  Brother fought against brother.  American cities were burned by American soldiers.  Americans killed each other on the battlefield.  One of our greatest Presidents was eventually assassinated.  Why would you want to fly the flag of the country behind all that?

USAThe South not only lost the war, but the Confederate States of America was also wiped off the map and made part of the United State of America.

The Confederacy didn’t have a chunk of land taken away and continue on in a weakened state as Germany did after the World Wars.

It was wiped out of existence entirely.  Its citizens were forced to call themselves members of the conquering nation.

The country stopped existing, so there’s no need for there to be a flag anymore.  I certainly don’t see why that flag should be flying from the State Capitol in South Carolina, which is part of the United States of America.

Putting this in sports terms, the end of the Civil War was like the Super Bowl if the losing team was told it no longer existed, and was now a part of the winning team.

Super Bowl XLIX Seattle Seahawks against the New England PatriotsSo, the Seattle Seahawks would cease to exist, and the New England Patriots would double in size.

If that happened, there would no longer be a need for Seahawks uniforms, fan gear, or equipment, right?  No one would declare that the Seahawks would rise again because they would now all be Patriots.

Just writing this post has caused me to go into a sneezing and nose blowing fit.  My allergies are definitely related to the Confederate flag, regardless of what Dr. Jekyll says.

For the sake of this nation’s, this United States of America’s allergy sufferers, let’s put this whole Confederate flag debate to rest.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I was even going to write this post tonight, but on the way home, I heard something on the radio that convinced me to go for it.

U2Ironically, it was the words of an Irishman that made me realize that I needed to address this issue.

The lad’s name was Bono, and he was chatting it up during a live version of the U2 classic Pride (In the Name of Love).

As the band played on behind him, Bono talked about his dream to live in a world where everyone was created equal.

The song is about Martin Luther King, Jr, and I know that if that great man were alive today, he’d have a thing or two to say about the Confederate flag.

Maybe I’m not allergic to the flag itself, but rather, to what it represents…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

26 Responses to Are My Allergies Confederate Flag Related?

  1. Stress triggers an allergic response in some individuals. I enjoyed reading.

  2. JED says:

    I’ve lived in the south most of my life and happen to agree with you about the flag, maybe not the allergies. I just hope you don’t stir up a bunch of fiery southerners looking to hog tie a northern toga clad fellow.

    Make sure you have Gary on guard.

  3. howardat58 says:

    It would seem that you were on the winning side!

  4. I’m a Canadian. It’s cold here and I don’t know m.u.c.h. about allergies and such — at least I don’t think so. 😮

  5. A perfect and yes, rational discussion about a sensitive topic. I agree with your last post; you should run for president.

  6. Blake Standard says:

    Great post! Loved the Seahawks analogy.

  7. The flag itself was not the issue, the troops carrying it into battle were not the issue. The issue was the Status Quo which was being altered by the Northern States against the landowners and slave traders in the South. That people fought and died under that flag without knowing the truth about the slavery it wanted to keep was a disgrace.

  8. kmunse says:

    We all were and are created equal. The fact is, we don’t treat each other equally. Tell Bono.

  9. I am extremely put off by the Confederate Flag. Even if it were not the flag of slavery (which it TOTALLY IS, THAT IS SO WHAT THE SOUTH WAS FIGHTING FOR!), it is the flag of division, and division is one thing we have far too much of in this country and in the world. So thank you for this post. And not for nothing, but everybody’s allergies are just terrible this year. It is quite possible you are not only correct about your Confederate flag allergy but also that most of us share that allergy, if not to the flag itself, to the division, racism and hatred many of us feel is symbolizes. Ooh, how’s that for some philosophy from one whose stuff is usually half-baked?

  10. Hannah G says:

    “The country stopped existing” is probably a motivating factor behind clinging to the imagery so strongly. People are offended. (I think it’s kind of horrible, but it’s there, all the same.)

    • Austin says:

      People today weren’t around for the country that doesn’t exist. Why do they cling to the flag?

      • Hannah G says:

        Same reason all the people without countries in Europe and Asia cling to their nationalities. I mean, if America was suddenly subsumed into something else (the alien civilization of Kerplooey, for instance), people wouldn’t stop identifying as American. Being Southern is a huge deal for those who identify that way. It’s a strong association and it’s a big deal to NOT be a Yankee, presumably because the Confederate association was forcibly taken away.

        That makes it sound more noble than it is… Gene’o had some appropriate things to say about it on Facebook the other day. Right now the flag symbolizes a culture and a way of life that is very oppressive to those not at the top, and people are holding on to that power.

  11. donedreaming says:

    In their excitement of you promoting their stores as THE place to take your date, Walmart are supporting you in easing your allergies …
    Walmart have decided they won’t make cakes with the confederate flag on – they will however make you one with the flag of ISIS !!

    – Walmart has made good on its pledge to eliminate the Confederate flag from its stores, even going as far as to refuse to make a cake featuring the flag.
    But now the retail giant has apologized because after refusing the Confederate flag, one employee put the Isis flag on a cake for a Louisiana man, ABC News reported.
    Chuck Netzhammer asked Walmart to make a Confederate flag cake adorned with the words, “Heritage Not Hate”, but was refused. So he went back to the store at some point later and was made a cake with the black battle flag of the Islamic militant group.
    “I went back yesterday and managed to get an Isis battleflag printed. Isis happens to be somebody who we’re fighting against right now who are killing our men and boys overseas and are beheading Christians,” Mr Netzhammer said in a video posted to Youtube.
    “That’s an Isis battleflag cake that anybody can go buy at Walmart. But you can’t buy a Confederate flag toy, with like, say, a ‘Dukes of Hazzards’ car.”
    Walmart was one of several companies that announced last week they would no longer sell products featuring the Confederate flag after the shooting at a Charleston church that left nine black parishioners dead at the hands of a white gunman.
    ”We never want to offend anyone with the products that we offer,“ Walmart said in a statement last week as it announced the ban. ”We have taken steps to remove all items promoting the Confederate flag from our assortment — whether in our stores or on our web site.“
    After Mr Netzhammer revealed the Isis cake, a Walmart spokesman told ABC News, ”An associate in a local store did not know what the design meant and made a mistake. The cake should not have been made and we apologize.“

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