Bill Pullman Finally Opens Up About Saving Earth From Aliens

MSDINDA FE002On the eve of the greatest achievement of his career, Bill Pullman sat down with this Modern Philosopher to give a rare interview about the time he saved our planet from an Alien invasion.

“I don’t really like to talk about the events of that particular Independence Day,” Pullman said softly as he sipped a Snapple on the front porch of The House on the Hill.  “I still have horrible nightmares about losing my wife and seeing so much of the planet’s population and national landmarks annihilated.  It’s far too painful.”

So why now?  Why talk about it on this particular Fourth of July weekend?

“My therapist said it might help me sleep if I were to talk about it,” the handsome actor explained with an embarrassed smile.  “It would be nice to finally put it all behind me.”

What does he remember most about the events leading up to that fateful July 4th?

“It was hot, both literally and figuratively,” Pullman replied with growing confidence.  “My approval ratings were down, and my advisers were telling me I was in danger of becoming the least popular President since Richard Nixon.  I didn’t want that to be my legacy.”

Bill IDSo it was fortuitous that the Aliens arrived?

That earned me a nasty look.  “Seriously, Austin?  You think it was good luck that an Alien Armada tried to wipe us off the face of the planet?”

I apologized for my question, and asked Pullman to continued however he wished.

He flashed me a charming smile.  “Sorry about that.  I know you’re just doing your job.  Every once in a while, though, that crazy cowboy who left the Oval Office for the cockpit of a fighter jet just comes out and takes over, you know?”

I nodded my understanding and took a drink of my Snapple, not wanting to interrupt.

“I remember just knowing,” he recalled with a glimmer in his eye.  “While everyone else was panicking, I just knew I had to keep my daughter safe, had to look out for the American people…even the ones who disapproved of me, and I had to save the planet from those grotesque Aliens hell bent on our destruction.”

Pullman admitted that his advisers were dead set against his leading the attack, but nothing on the planet or from outside of it, was going to stop him.

Bill flag“I knew what had to be done,” he said with a simple shrug as if talking about changing a flat tire.  “During my entire Presidency, I never felt more Presidential than I did when leading that attack.  More Presidents should give that a shot.”

He laughed at his joke, and quickly made sure I knew he wasn’t wishing an Alien attack on President Obama or an future resident of The White House.

“It ended up being a great day in this planet’s history, and it made Independence Day  an even more important holiday for the American people,” Pullman told me with a confident shake of the head.  “Of course, I avoid firework shows like the plague because they set off my PTSD, but I still love the Fourth.”

Does he think his achievements in repelling the Alien invasion make him the greatest President of all time?

Will JeffPullman smirked and laughed nervously.  “That was not a one man show.  I just happened to be the face most associated with the rebellion given my office.  This planet would be under Alien rule if it weren’t for Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, and the rest of my supporting cast.”

Pullman grew quiet and seemed more interested in talking about life in Maine than his achievements on Independence Day.

That’s fine with me, Modern Philosophers.  I’ve always thought actions speak louder than words, and Bill Pullman’s actions on that Fourth of July speak volumes.

Happy Independence Day!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Bill Pullman Finally Opens Up About Saving Earth From Aliens

  1. markbialczak says:

    We don’t need another spaceship hovering, Austin. No, indeed. 😦

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