Happy Independence Day! I still can’t believe that none of the Founding Fathers was a Notary!
A British court today ruled that The Declaration of Independence was never properly notarized, meaning that America never legally declared its independence from England.
As a result, on the eve of Independence Day, The United States of America has ceased to exist, and is once again part of Great Britain.
Needless to say, the news sent a shock wave across the landmass formerly known as America the Beautiful, as it spread like wildfire from sea to shining sea.
Former President Obama chose not to comment, and was seen fleeing the White House in a helicopter bound for Camp David. Members of the Queen’s Guard soon after appeared outside the gates of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue amidst rumors that Queen Elizabeth would be arriving this weekend to stay at her new country estate.
Former Vice President Biden, upon seeing Obama leave, declared himself President of the United States. British soldiers immediately arrested…
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The Return of the Modern Philosopher 