President Obama Sings “Happy Birthday, USA” With Stunned Americans

Happy Independence Day, Modern Philosophers!

According to reports out of The White House, President Obama woke up early on the Fourth of July and decided to spread a little holiday cheer of his own.

Numerous sources have confirmed that The President has been in the Oval Office for hours, randomly calling Americans to sing “Happy Birthday” to the greatest country in the world.

It all began with calls to American troops stationed overseas, and just escalated from there.

“I couldn’t sleep, Austin,” The President explained to this Modern Philosopher once we had completed our phone call duet of The Birthday Song.  “I love Independence Day.  I get all giddy about the holiday.  I didn’t want to bother Michelle, so I went down to the Oval Office and started making calls.  I just wanted to wish our troops well, but I guess I got so excited that I broke out into song.”

Once the President was on a roll, he started asking his Secret Service detail to shout out area codes.  The Leader of the Free World then dialed a random number in that area code, chatted up the startled citizen who answered the phone, and then burst out into song.

“Sometimes, the person would sing along like you did, Austin,” President Obama told me with a chuckle.  “Other times, there would be a stunned silence on the other end of the line.  One charming lady in Pensacola, Florida handed me off to her husband and I heard her say, ‘It’s the President.  I didn’t vote for him, so you see what he wants’.  How All American is that?”

One caller from Davenport, Iowa had a special request, and the President had to think quickly on his feet to not disappoint her.

“She wanted Joe Biden to join me for a duet, but the Vice President isn’t around this weekend.  So I asked her if she would settle for my Secret Service detail singing back up.  She loved the idea, and now I think the agents and I will be doing a lot more singing together during those long, boring car rides.”

The President’s boyish charm and excitement for the holiday was so evident even over the phone, Modern Philosophers.  I asked him if the experience had changed the way he thought about these final years of his Presidency.

“I have the greatest job in the world,” he replied without even pausing to ponder his reply.  “There are times when it is very stressful and I wonder what it will be like to finally step away from it all.  Then there are days like today that remind me why I got into politics in the first place.”

President Obama said that he intended to make some calls to the West Coast before giving his singing voice a rest.  After that, it’s all about celebrating America’s Birthday just like any other American.

“Looking forward to the fireworks, some burgers on the grill, and a little family time,” he told me when I asked him about his Fourth of July plans.

“We live in the greatest country in the world, Austin, and today is a day when we really need to just stop and think about what it means to be an American.  If you don’t love the United States on Independence Day, then you aren’t celebrating the day correctly!

Happy Birthday, America!  How do you plan to spend Independence Day?