Vader reaches out to the fruit of his loins and makes his pitch about joining the family business. He says something like…
“Join me on the Dark Side. We have cookies. We can rule the galaxy together as father and son!”
Luke gets all rebellious, tells Dad to stick it, and then goes for a bungee jump but forgets to strap himself in first.
My reaction to that scene, every time I see it, is extreme anger at Luke for not asking Vader what kind of cookies they have on the Dark Side. Now I’ll never know.
But I digress, Modern Philosophers. This post is really about something every man must deal with once he ventures into the world of dating. (Again, I remind you that I write from the perspective of a man who gets dumped by women, so the ex in this post will be referred to as a female).
It is a constant reminder of the relationship, but you can’t burn it or throw it out like all the other things that remind you of her because you kinda still need it.
Which poses a mighty dilemma.
There’s your side of the bed, and then there’s her side of the bed…
The Dark Side of the Bed.
What do you do about the Dark Side? Some guys change the sheets right away to get rid of her scent, while others refuse to change them because they want to still be able to smell her as they toss and turn in the dark all night.
But do they toss and turn onto the Dark Side? For years, the popular belief among men who have suffered a breakup has been to fight the power of the Dark Side. The thought being that nothing good could come from going over to the other side.
Tired of surviving on half a bed, guys have been ignoring that little voice in their heads whispering for them to search their feelings and use The Force.
Instead, they are giving in to temptation and seeing what the Dark Side has to offer.
I am a Jedi, like my father before me!
According to Dr. Alexandra Foster, a renowned relationship psychologist, men find the lure of the Dark Side of the Bed too powerful to ignore any longer. “Men grew up watching their fathers sleep on the couch whenever there was trouble at home. This generation doesn’t want to go out like that. They’re rebels at heart.”
Would Luke be proud of their not wanting to turn into their fathers, or would he be ashamed of their giving in to the power of the Dark Side?
“All I know is that my lightsaber feels a lot more powerful now that I’ve stopped being a little coward and finally claimed my rightful place on the Dark Side of the Bed,” a breakup victim told this Modern Philosopher.
“I feel much more in control of my life now that I’ve turned to the Dark Side of the Bed,” added another gentleman. “My lightsaber looks a lot bigger and brighter now.”
Dr. Foster explained that it made sense for men to feel more powerful once they have embraced the Dark Side of the Bed. “The Dark Side was where they felt loved, desired, manly, and in control. By ignoring the Dark Side, they were becoming mere shadows of the greatest versions of themselves.”
It’s not that I don’t want to feel that power again, it’s just that I’d rather wait for a reason to make the journey.
A true Jedi understands the power of patience.
He might still wonder, however, what kind of cookies they have on the Dark Side…