Some Deep Thoughts Bring Me To Life

running 6Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

It’s rainy and overcast here in Maine, but nevertheless, I am out on the porch of The House on the Hill.  It’s my favorite place to write, and it’s so peaceful and quiet out here that I can be alone with my thoughts.

It’s amazing how many Deep Thoughts manage to bounce around inside my head over the course of a day, and they seem to multiply exponentially when I’m running.

This morning was no different.  I woke up far too early for a day off, but I knew it was supposed to rain all day, so I got out of bed and prepared for my run.  Running toga on, sneakers laced up, and ear pods blasting Foo Fighters Radio into my ears.

Despite Dave Grohl and the boys rocking my eardrums, my brain was still able to conjure up the Deep Thoughts at a much faster pace than I was running…

A female road runner runs down a road at dusk at Independence Pass.“You’ve run thirteen out of the last nineteen days.  No one is going to give you grief for taking a day off to rest your weary bones.”

That Deep Thought was the loudest as I prepared to start my run.  I was sore.  I was tired.  A lazy, rainy Sunday sounded wonderful.

If I’d given in to that thought, I would’ve hated myself later, and felt like I was falling back into my slacker ways that led me down the path to being overweight and out of shape.  One day off becomes two, and next thing I know, I’m back to couch potato status.

running 3“There’s no way you’re going to make 4 miles today.  If you turn around now, it’s a solid 2 mile run, and you can say you’ve run 14 out of the last 20 days.  That’s 70%!”

My Deep Thoughts are very good at math, and they really seem to enjoy numbers and statistics.  At the one mile mark, I was still feeling stiff and sore, the sky was getting darker, and there was a definite chill in the air.

This was the first morning of the Summer I’d had to wear a sweatshirt on a run.  It seemed like everything was pointing towards cutting this one short, and getting back to The House on the Hill before the rain started.

Then I remembered that I never really loosened up for a run until I get that first miserable mile out of the way.  I was already out on the road, so I might as well stick to the plan.

Sure, 2 miles is still a decent run, but since I’d set out to do 4, I would’ve felt like a failure.

running 4“Did you see those photos on Facebook of Christie completing a 50 mile Ultra Marathon yesterday?  If she can do 50, you can push your lazy ass to run 46 miles less than that!”

I definitely found inspiration in my friend Christie’s running a 50 mile marathon in Washington yesterday.  I was utterly blown away by that, and sent her a message of congratulations before I set out on my run.

Christie was always a star athlete.  She played field hockey at U Maine, and she was always going on long runs.  She’s like 15 years younger than I am, but 50 miles is still an impressive number no matter what your age.

Inspired by Christie’s accomplishment, I formed the Deep Thought that I was not only going to get my 4 miles in, but I was also going to push myself a little further.

running 5“You know it was foolish to add distance when you can barely outpace a turtle at this point, right?  What were you thinking?”

That Deep Thought definitely had a point, Modern Philosophers.  While I only added maybe another tenth of a mile to my run, it seemed more like 10 miles as I made my way back to The House on the Hill at a very slow pace.

I just kept thinking that the longer I was out on the road, the more calories my body was burning.  That is the ultimate goal in all this, isn’t it?

It’s not like I’m training to be a long distance runner.  I just want to get myself back into shape, build my self-confidence, and maybe give myself a chance at attracting a member of the opposite sex.

running 7“You’re going to die out here, and since you don’t carry ID on your runs, the police will never be able to identify your corpse.  You’ll be buried in an unmarked grave, and no one will even realize that you’re gone.”

Okay, so my Deep Thoughts get a little morbid when I hit the wall on a run.  Luckily, there are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head that they eventually drown out the really depressing ones, and help me keep going.

I kept telling myself I could do it, and if I stopped to walk, even for a second, I was going to be pissed at myself.  There are enough people in the world upset at me, I don’t need to add myself to the list.

With about a mile to go, I just felt it.  My second wind, that extra gear…whatever you want to call it, it just kicked in.  I saw a couple of walkers (not The Walking Dead kind, just two living people out for a stroll) far ahead on the other side of the road, and decided that I absolutely needed to catch up with them.

Just go run“Great.  You caught up with the walkers, but you emptied your tank in the process.  How are you going to make it the last half mile home, genius?”

I was out of breath, really feeling it in my legs, so I chugged some water and tried to form one last positive Deep Thought to get me back to The House on the Hill.

The last hill of my run awaited me, and it was always a challenge even when I was feeling good.  Today, it looked like Mount Everest.

Then a new song started, and it just spoke to me.  The tune was “Bring Me To Life” by Evanescence, and it was exactly what I needed.

I sprinted up that last hill, which is something I never do, and then let the momentum on the other side carry me all the way to The House on the Hill.

I made it.  Damn, did it feel good!

In case you need a little inspiration or motivation today, Modern Philosophers, here’s he video of the song that gave me a much needed push…

What do you do when you need that extra push, Modern Philosophers?  How do you motivate yourself when you think your tank is empty?  Do the positive thoughts always win out over the negative ones?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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26 Responses to Some Deep Thoughts Bring Me To Life

  1. plaguedparents says:

    You need to tell those annoying deep thoughts to simmer down! You are doing great!

  2. My inner voice used to berate me, but I’ve mostly silenced it. If it’s not something I would say to my best friends or relatives, I shouldn’t say it to myself. I find a kick-butt song and I remind myself that I run to stay physically/emotionally/mentally strong and healthy. I have to be a good role model for my daughter. 🙂

  3. hollie says:

    I still can’t run, but I woke up this morning to discover I was ten pounds down! I guess that late night first date make out like teenagers thing burned some serious calories!
    I try to stay positive and be grateful for the good instead of focusing on the bad. It isn’t always easy, I can’t imagine I would be positive about anything whilst running!

  4. I’m a little sorry I read that last comment about heavy make-out sessions and sex burning so many calories. Now I see the workout I’d prefer to do, but that is not what I started out to say. I wanted to say, those are not Deep Thoughts, that is your inner critic, for whom you will never be good enough so just stop listening. I know, easy to say, and if you figure out how to do it, please let me know. I’m very impressed and inspired by your running efforts. I have effectively crashed and burned after the Boilermaker. In my defense… oh never mind my defense, it’s lame. In conclusion: You da man. Rock on.

  5. Proud of you, Austin! Don’t let your inner thoughts betray you, keep using those to move forward.

  6. The Hook says:

    When I need that extra push, Austin?
    I read your enlightened words, my friend.
    And I eat a ton of candy…

  7. Glenda says:

    Now I want to run!

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