How To Be Happier And Enjoy Life

bad dateI’ve received many emails from Modern Philosophers who aren’t out in the dating world, asking me to write a dating tips style post to help with other life issues.

I tasked the interns with contacting all of you to see what kind of life tips you’d like, but since this blog has almost 14,000 followers, one of them might not have gotten to you yet.  Please be patient.

In the meantime, an overwhelming number of those contacted asked for tips on how to be happier and better enjoy life.

Challenge accepted, Modern Philosophers!

I don’t think this is a problem that can be solved in one post, so tonight’s article will focus on identifying the things that might be making you unhappy.  Once you figure out what’s causing the unhappiness, you can work on being happy.

Make sense?  Good.  Here’s my best guess as to what’s got you down…

happy 1You are unhappy with your job.  Who isn’t?  They don’t call it “work” for nothing.

The obvious solution is to find another job that you like better, but we all know that isn’t as easy as it sounds.

Unfortunately, most of us weren’t born independently wealthy, and we need to work in order to keep food on the table and clothes on our back.  If you’re not bold enough to look for another job, you could just take on a couple of part time ones as well so that you’re so exhausted all the time you don’t have the energy to dislike your job.  Exhaustion is a much simpler problem to fix.

Another option would be to make some fun friends at work so it feels less like a job and more like hanging out with your buds for eight hours.

I highly recommend you watch “Office Space” for more ideas on how to deal with a job that you simply cannot put up with any longer.

Relationship Issues.  You’re not in the dating world, so that probably means you’re either married or in a relationship.  So this one is definitely on you.

Simplest solution is to get out of a relationship that makes you unhappy.  Come join me in the dating world and replace relationship angst with lonely, single angst.

Fixing a bad relationship can be done.  It’s just going to take some effort, patience, compromise, and perhaps the selling of your soul.  There was something that made you fall in love with this person, so figure out what it was and rekindle that flame.

Couples therapy is always an option.  You might bond again over hating your therapist!

happy 4Money Woes.  Money is the root of all evil.  Bills cause stress.  Having to work to earn the money increases stress.  Finding a place to hide the money from your partner is a major stress.

I suggest moving to a Communist country, and money will no longer be an issue.

I’ve cut back on things to help make ends meet, so that is definitely an option if you want to remain a member of a Capitalist society.  I got rid of some cable channels, refinanced my mortgage, and laid off my personal chef and masseuse.  Don’t worry, though, I made sure they got fair severance packages and awesome letters of recommendation.

Dissatisfaction with self-image.  Most people aren’t happy with how they look.  Some things you just can’t fix, and other things you can blame on genetics.  However, you can do something if you’re out of shape.

Go on a diet.  Workout.  Live a healthier life.  You’d be amazed at how much happier you’ll be when you look in the mirror and barely recognize yourself.

Whining about being fat and out of shape will do nothing to fix those problems.  However, if you put down that pound cake and go for a run, you might see some changes.

happy 3Family Stress.  Family is a tough one.  You’re born into the situation and expected to deal with it until you’re either dead or the last one standing.

While I can’t advise you to eliminate fellow family members, you can withdraw from the family unit and lead your own life.

Moving to Maine and limiting contact with your family does really cut down on the stress.  Or so I’ve been told.  By the interns.

Not eating enough ice cream.  Ice cream fixes everything.  I bet you would be much happier if you got up right now and scooped out a bowl of it.  Go ahead.  This blog post isn’t going anywhere.

I don’t have the data right here in front of me, but I’m sure ice cream has been scientifically proven to make everything much better.

Maybe you could try eating ice cream at work and kill two birds with one stone…

happy 6You’re a Red Sox fan.  Rooting for the Red Sox will make you incredibly miserable.

This is the easiest problem on the list to fix.  Stop rooting for those losers from Fenway, and pick any one of the other wonderful teams in the league.

You’ll find yourself happier instantly.

You finally realize you aren’t the son of a Jedi, hidden on Earth to protect you from the Emperor and the Sith.  This one really hits home for me.  I spent most of my life wishing for this scenario to be true.  Once I finally accepted that I was really just a plain, boring citizen of Earth with no ability to channel the Force, my life got a little better.

I think this is a good place to stop for now.  Hopefully, these tips will come in handy and you can begin making the adjustments needed to be happier.

If not, there’s always a future blog post offering more advice.  That should put a smile on your face…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to How To Be Happier And Enjoy Life

  1. AthenaC says:

    This is a fantastic post!

    “Who isn’t? They don’t call it “work” for nothing.”

    My boss does this thing where he likes to remind me that he makes more money than me, so I like to remind him that if working for him were enjoyable, he wouldn’t have to pay me to do it.

    And yes, ice cream fixes a whole host of ills. If you ever find yourself in Alaska (most people who end up in Alaska are there because the purposefully set out to be there, but you never know), make sure you try Hot Licks ice cream. It is a locally-made brand that is famous state-wide.

    • Austin says:

      I’m glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for the kind words and for the tip on the best ice cream in Alaska.

      I’ve got some chocolate peanut butter in the freezer. It is so hot here today, and I cannot wait to get into that ice cream!

  2. List of X says:

    I disagree with you about moving to a Communist country as a way to fix money problems – because even in a Communist country, everything cost money, but because of Communism, no one has any.

  3. avsweb says:

    Great post! I am going to reblog your post.

  4. avsweb says:

    Reblogged this on Whatever it is, it's not so bad and commented:
    Check out “The Return of the Modern Philosophers.” Austin is a fantastic writer.

  5. Totally with you on the ice cream, it makes me very happy… Unfortunately I’m less happy when I can’t fit into my jeans afterwards.

    Awesome post as always!

    • Austin says:

      Thanks, Suzie. Well, you took care of the unhappy job item, which is #1 on the list, so you are definitely moving in the right direction. 🙂

  6. donedreaming says:

    I’ve ditched the Sunday papers, I’d rather brunch with Maine Man. Wit and wisdom on a weekend, Maine Man gets you through the day 🙂

  7. Pingback: How To Be Happier And Enjoy Life | Done Dreaming

  8. donedreaming says:

    He is. He sometimes goes by the name International Man of Maine but it’s Sunday so he’s in a more casual frame of mind ..

  9. I have a hunch that even in a Communist country people are still miserable by some kind of quasi-capitalist activity. Hoarding money is replaced by hoarding enough toilet paper, your significant other nagging you that you haven’t hoarded enough toilet paper and jabbing you with, “Oh, my mother was right, I should have married Ivan, now there’s a man who brings home the Charmin!”

  10. Thanks – this post actually helps a lot. I have been suffering from several of these inflictions and now I have I a sense of control and direction for my miserable life! I think I’ll go for a run then eat some ice cream!!

  11. Btw I did get a call from an unknown number earlier this week which I readily ignored. Please accept my apology as no doubt it was one of the interns trying to do valuable research :-/

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