Is Joe Just “Biden” His Time?

Joe Biden Campaigns In South FloridaAs the 200 or so Republican Presidential Candidates gather in Cleveland for tonight’s first debate, this Modern Philosopher met with his most trusted political advisers.

The question that weighed most heavily on my mind was one that should be on the very tip of every Americans’ brain:

Is Joe Biden going to enter the 2016 Presidential Race?

"Joe, what did I tell you about sneaking into the Oval Office when I wasn't around?"

“Joe, what did I tell you about sneaking into the Oval Office when I wasn’t around?”

My guests for tonight’s discussion were Mayor McCheese, who somehow recently failed in his bid to unseat Paul LePage as Governor or Maine, and Zeus, the Father of the Gods and McCheese’s Campaign Manager.

I asked them if they thought the Vice President was going to enter the fray, and if so, what the heck was he waiting for?

“I’m not sure Joe Biden understands how the Electoral Process works,” Zeus was the first to tackle my question.  “I believe he thinks that as Vice President, he simply inherits the gig when President Obama’s term ends.”

biden 1“That’s giving him a lot of credit,” Mayor McCheese joined the conversation.  “That assumes Biden is aware of what term limits are and their length.”

So what is Biden waiting for?  Wouldn’t the natural order of things be for the sitting Vice President to make a run for the top job?

Shouldn’t the Democrats be pushing Big Joe to get out there?  Doesn’t anyone want to liven up the Democratic side of things?

Harry wand“I hear the Vice President is a huge Harry Potter fan,” said McCheese.  “Perhaps he thinks that the Presidency is like a Wizard’s wand, and he’s waiting for it to pick him.”

“Speaking of Magic and Wizards, maybe Gentle Joe thinks Hillary is a Wicked Witch and he’s scared to death to run against her,” Zeus suggested.  “Perhaps he wakes up screaming in the middle of the night from nightmares of the Flying Monkeys carrying him way.”

“As Hillary circles the White House on her broom, cackling wildly,” The Mayor joked.

If these two ever decide to give up their day jobs, they could tour the country as a wisecracking comedy duo.

trumpIs it possible that Vice President Biden doesn’t think he can defeat whatever candidate finally emerges from the Republican Hunger Games?

“I did see a recent poll that had Trump’s hair way out ahead of Biden’s,” Zeus informed us with a straight face.  “Something like twenty points.  It did say, however, that if Biden got a perm, he would cut the gap in half.”

“I do think that Donald Trump is part of the reason Biden has yet to enter the race,” Mayor McCheese opined.  “Trump is playing the role of buffoon, which is the Vice President’s bread and butter.  If Biden declares now, he’s just going to be playing second fiddle in the bonehead department.”

“Dump Trump!” Zeus declared.  “We want Biden.  The Democrats need Biden.  Without him, they are bland and vanilla.  Joe adds a little spice.”

biden 2“If Joe Biden entered the race, it would be like dumping an entire jar of Tabasco Sauce onto this very unappetizing Democratic entree,” Mayor McCheese agreed.

If anyone knows appetizing, it’s the politician with the giant Quarterpounder with Cheese for a head!

So what do you think, Modern Philosophers?  Should Joe Biden enter the 2016 Presidential Election?  Will you be watching the debate tonight?  If so, will you be watching it more for its political, or its comedic value?

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Is Joe Just “Biden” His Time?

  1. howardat58 says:

    More like this, please !

  2. The Cutter says:

    As a Democrat, I’m worried that none of the potential candidates could win the general election. Then I look at the Republican candidates and I don’t worry quite as much

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