As you can see from the photo on the left, which Zuckerberg’s minions told me I posted four years ago today, I was a corpse. Batgirl was doing the chalk outline of my body, while Zorro watched in horror.
What the heck is the story behind this photo? Does the fact that I’m alive and well and typing this post mean that I’m a Zombie? Why didn’t Batgirl and Zorro save me?
Let me tell you a story…
Once upon a time, in a dark and dreary office somewhere in Bangor, there toiled a mild mannered Modern Philosopher. His Boss asked him to come up with an idea for the annual Employee Recognition Barbecue, and she wanted something extraordinary so that her office would win the big prize.
The shy, but creative Modern Philosopher agreed to undertake the massive assignment as long as the Boss also put The Girl Who Made His Heart Beat Faster on the project. If he was going to put in all this extra work, he might as well use it as an excuse to spend time with this coworker who happened to own his heart.
Every year, the Big Bosses visit all the sites in the company to throw a massive barbecue for the employees. Part of the deal is that each site picks a theme for its barbecue, then the employees dress up and decorate the office to match that theme.
We picked Comic Book Superheroes and Villains. And we went huge.
I created an original comic book for the event, typed up the text in comic sans font, we added images from the internet, and then printed it out in giant colored panels. These panels were then hung on the walls of office, and the Big Bosses walked through to follow the story. It really was quite awesome, and we even inserted the Big Bosses into the story as The Fantastic Four.
This was four years ago when I didn’t have a Smartphone, so I don’t have any pictures to share, but the comic came out amazing. We won first prize in a landslide.
Aside from the panels of the comic book, we decorated the walls with other comic book themed items. Part of the fun was putting chalk outlines on the floor near the panels where a character died in the comic.
I used to have this really cool framed photo up on the mantel in my living room, which showed Batgirl and The Riddler hanging out at her desk at some point during the day.
I looked like a total geek, of course, but she looked amazing. Even better than the Batgirl I had a crush on from the old Adam West series.
So, Modern Philosophers, are you suddenly realizing that for the first time ever in the long, storied history of this blog, I’ve actually posted a photo of The Girl Who Moved Away?
Don’t strain your eyes looking at the tiny version at the beginning of this post. Here’s one that’s a little easier to see…
But for those of you who have wondered if she were merely a figment of my overactive imagination, here is some proof that she truly exists.
And is a superhero.
One of my favorite memories of that day is of the drive home. If we didn’t ride to work together, I’d usually follow her in my car. She insisted on wearing the Batgirl mask while she was driving, and the entire way home, I’d watch the drivers coming in my direction do a double take and look back at her car.
Plus, I kept giggling because all I could see through her back window were the bat ears sticking up over the driver’s seat headrest.
Good memories, Modern Philosophers.
Don’t worry, though, I’m not sitting here longing for her. I know that Batgirl has moved away from Gotham City to seek out new adventures.
She did that last weekend, so I should be safe.
Yes, I know that’s a photo of Elektra, not Daredevil, but it’s from the same movie.
Besides, Jennifer Garner is a lot prettier than Ben Affleck.
Have a heroic Saturday, Modern Philosophers!