NFL Suspends Tom Brady For Breaking Geno Smith’s Jaw

NFL: Divisional Round-Baltimore Ravens at New England PatriotsNew England Patriots quarterback, and former NFL Golden Boy, Tom Brady was  suspended today for the remainder of the upcoming season for breaking the jaw of New York Jets quarterback Geno Smith.

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell gleefully made the announcement right before heading into a courtroom to deal with Brady’s appeal of his Deflategate suspension.

“With a heavy heart, I must announce that Tom Brady has been suspended for the remainder of the 2015 season in the wake of yesterday’s vicious and seemingly unprovoked attack on Geno Smith,” Goodell read from a prepared statement.  “Once justice is handed down and Mr. Brady’s current suspension is finalized, he will then have to sit out however many games remain in the season.”

The Commissioner then smiled for the cameras and bolted up the stairs of the courthouse, refusing to answer any questions from the throng of reporters that chased after him.

Brady and his legal team were clearly blindsided by the news.  The reigning Super Bowl MVP was already inside the courtroom when Goodell made the announcement, and he had to be informed of the news by an intern who saw it on Twitter.

Goodell“Commissioner Goodell clearly has it in for my client,” one of Brady’s lawyers told the press.  “However, I cannot comment on that suspension until I finish dealing with this current one.”

This Modern Philosopher is a Jets fan and no lover of Tom Brady, but even I have to take Brady’s side on this one.

Brady was nowhere near the Jets’ locker room yesterday when a teammate broke Geno Smith’s jaw in what seems to be a dispute over a plan ticket.  Almost the entire New York Jets organization witnessed the incident, and not a single person has stepped forward to mention that Tom Brady was involved in anyway.

“The Geno Smith incident shows a pattern of behavior on Brady’s part,” a league official told this Modern Philosopher on the condition of anonymity.

When I asked him to expand on that, my source added, “Brady will do anything to win, and everyone knows the Jets are a major threat to the Patriot’s repeating as Super Bowl Champs.  Also, any guy who would order a cellphone destroyed would totally bust a guy’s jaw just for the fun of it.”

NFL: Buffalo Bills at New England PatriotsPatriot Coach Bill Belichick refused to answer my questions for this post.  He did, however, show his frustration by tearing the sleeves off of his hoodie as I stood and watched in stunned disbelief.

He then autographed the sleeves for me and asked me to sell them to help his embattled quarterback pay for his lawyers.

I asked Cy Brown, this blog’s legal expert, to weigh in on the matter.  “Roger Goodell is making a mockery of the Commissioner’s office,” Cy assured me.  “He saw what he could get away with in the Deflategate case, and now he’s simply showing off his power.  I’m told his office is about to release a 578 page report on Jawgate.”

578 pages on something that happened only yesterday?  That seems ridiculous.  Is it possible that Goodell is looking to silence those critics who said he didn’t act swiftly enough after the Ray Rice incident?

Brown shrugged.  “Maybe, but I think he’s just on a power trip.  Notice how the suspension is worded.  Brady has to sit out the remainder of the season once his Deflategate suspension is complete.  That way, if a federal judge reduces the four game penalty, Brady still misses all 16 games this year.”

Brilliant or devious?  You make the call, Modern Philosophers.

KraftyPatriots owner Robert Kraft was not happy with the news.  “Tommy is a good boy.  He’s a great guy.  Basically, he’s the All-American kid.  What Roger Goodell is doing is really just punching America in the face, giving the finger to patriotism, and burning the American flag.  This just isn’t right, and Tommy doesn’t deserve it!”

Sports Talk radio stations have been buzzing with the news all day, and out in Vegas, the Patriots’ odds of winning the Super Bowl skyrocketed to 500-1.  Meanwhile, the odds of Brady being suspended again before the NFL season opens, dropped to 4-5.

I had the opportunity to speak to Geno Smith about the suspension, and asked him if he believed Tom Brady was at all involved in his getting sucker punched by a teammate in his own locker room.

Unfortunately, the Jets’ quarterback was unable to answer my questions due to the fact that his broken jaw was wired shut.

genoSo, I guess it will be a while before we get Smith’s take.

The bright side in all this, if there is one, is that Jets fans know for sure that they won’t be losing any games early on in the season due to Smith’s turnovers or inability to be a decent NFL quarterback.

I still think that Brady’s suspension is uncalled for and utterly ridiculous, but as a Jets fan, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Oh…sorry about the mouth comment, Geno.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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8 Responses to NFL Suspends Tom Brady For Breaking Geno Smith’s Jaw

  1. I have no idea what you are talking about but, as usual, it’s quite entertaining. 😎

  2. Reblogged this on from the sticks to the bricks and back again and commented:
    And, there you have it. It is more probable than not that Roger Goodell has it in for Tom Brady. #FreeTomBrady

  3. Pingback: New England Patriots Links 8/18/15 – Tyms Digs the Deep Ball, But Aims For More | The Scoopp

  4. jackbenimble999 says:

    Enjoyable post. As a Pats fan, deflategate is a hot-button for me. It’s nice to see it get lighter treatment from a blogger who obviously has a sense of humor.

    • Austin says:

      Thanks for the kind words, and I’m glad you enjoyed the post. I am a Jets fan, but I do think this whole deflategate thing has gotten out of hand.

      By why did Brady have to break Geno’s jaw??? 🙂

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