Sleeping On The Couch: It’s Not Just For Troubled Relationships

There was a time, Modern Philosophers, when sleeping on the couch would have meant that I was in the doghouse.

Yet again.

In fact, I’ve always equated a night spent on the couch as a very bad sign.

It meant that a couple was fighting, and there was discord and disharmony in the household.  Couches were for sitting, not for sleeping.  If you spent the night on one, it had better be because you were a house guest.

Of course, now that I live alone, there’s no one to exile me to the couch.

That makes me a little sad.  I have to admit, I do miss having a Lady of The House on the Hill.  As always, I am taking applications for the position.  Please leave a comment below if you are interested.

But back to the whole sleeping on the couch thing…

When my marriage was reaching its rocky end, there would be some nights spent on the couch.  And not always by me.

Sometimes, J would banish herself there.  I never asked her to remove herself from our bed.  For some reason, she alone was responsible for handing out that penalty.

So why am I wandering down this perilous road?  Am I about to lose it and whine about how I hate being alone?  Is this going to be some annoying post about divorce?

Of course not, Modern Philosophers.

This is a comedy blog.

I’m going to find something positive about sleeping on the couch, and reclaim it as something you can do proudly.

I slept on the couch last night and it was glorious.  Sure, it hurt my back a little and my 6’3″ frame was a little too large for it, but it was so much cooler in the living room than it was up in the bedroom.

Honestly, when I went upstairs, a wall of heat would hit me on the top step.  It felt twenty degrees warmer.  No way.  Not for me.

I stayed downstairs, left all the windows open, turned on the fan, and slept like a baby.

A sweaty baby who had the strangest dream about betting on the Jets to win Super Bowl III, even though the game took place before I was born.

I guess I have time traveling dreams during a heatwave.

When I woke up this morning, I was surprisingly refreshed and ready for my run.  I put on my Running Toga, and was out on the road before the Sun had powered up to Full Sweltering Mode.

I had worried that a poor night’s sleep, coupled with the extreme heat, would lead to my trying to wimp out of my run.  However, I not only got my much skinnier butt out there, I also pushed myself hard on the return trip because I felt so good.

It’s incredible what a good night’s sleep can do for your psyche.

Needless to say, I’m already planning to enjoy another night on the couch.  This heatwave isn’t supposed to break until Thursday, and there’s no way I’m punishing myself by sleeping in my bed until at least Thursday night.

See what I did there, Modern Philosophers?

Now sleeping in my bed is the punishment, while crashing on the couch is desired.

Isn’t life crazy?

Okay, maybe the heat is getting to me.

Sleeping on the couch is no longer taboo, though.  You should give it a shot.  Trust me on this.  I do wear a toga, after all…

Stay cool, Modern Philosophers!