Sleeping On The Couch: It’s Not Just For Troubled Relationships

couchThere was a time, Modern Philosophers, when sleeping on the couch would have meant that I was in the doghouse.

Yet again.

In fact, I’ve always equated a night spent on the couch as a very bad sign.

It meant that a couple was fighting, and there was discord and disharmony in the household.  Couches were for sitting, not for sleeping.  If you spent the night on one, it had better be because you were a house guest.

Of course, now that I live alone, there’s no one to exile me to the couch.

That makes me a little sad.  I have to admit, I do miss having a Lady of The House on the Hill.  As always, I am taking applications for the position.  Please leave a comment below if you are interested.

But back to the whole sleeping on the couch thing…

When my marriage was reaching its rocky end, there would be some nights spent on the couch.  And not always by me.

couch 2Sometimes, J would banish herself there.  I never asked her to remove herself from our bed.  For some reason, she alone was responsible for handing out that penalty.

So why am I wandering down this perilous road?  Am I about to lose it and whine about how I hate being alone?  Is this going to be some annoying post about divorce?

Of course not, Modern Philosophers.

This is a comedy blog.

I’m going to find something positive about sleeping on the couch, and reclaim it as something you can do proudly.

I slept on the couch last night and it was glorious.  Sure, it hurt my back a little and my 6’3″ frame was a little too large for it, but it was so much cooler in the living room than it was up in the bedroom.

Honestly, when I went upstairs, a wall of heat would hit me on the top step.  It felt twenty degrees warmer.  No way.  Not for me.

I stayed downstairs, left all the windows open, turned on the fan, and slept like a baby.

couch 4A sweaty baby who had the strangest dream about betting on the Jets to win Super Bowl III, even though the game took place before I was born.

I guess I have time traveling dreams during a heatwave.

When I woke up this morning, I was surprisingly refreshed and ready for my run.  I put on my Running Toga, and was out on the road before the Sun had powered up to Full Sweltering Mode.

I had worried that a poor night’s sleep, coupled with the extreme heat, would lead to my trying to wimp out of my run.  However, I not only got my much skinnier butt out there, I also pushed myself hard on the return trip because I felt so good.

It’s incredible what a good night’s sleep can do for your psyche.

Needless to say, I’m already planning to enjoy another night on the couch.  This heatwave isn’t supposed to break until Thursday, and there’s no way I’m punishing myself by sleeping in my bed until at least Thursday night.

See what I did there, Modern Philosophers?

couch 3Now sleeping in my bed is the punishment, while crashing on the couch is desired.

Isn’t life crazy?

Okay, maybe the heat is getting to me.

Sleeping on the couch is no longer taboo, though.  You should give it a shot.  Trust me on this.  I do wear a toga, after all…

Stay cool, Modern Philosophers!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Sleeping On The Couch: It’s Not Just For Troubled Relationships

  1. There’s something a little less finite about sleeping on the couch. When you “go to bed” you are basically calling it quits on that particular day. This is the end of this day. I am “Going to bed.” But dozing off on the couch, isn’t necessarily the end of the day. You might wake up at some point, and decide to squeeze one more hour of television out of that particular calendar date. (I’ve actually discoursed on this subject before, at length. Admittedly, I’m kind of an an oddball.) My point is, I actually kind of like sleeping on couches better than sleeping in beds.

  2. floridaborne says:

    You might consider an airbed for the living room floor. Some of them are very good. 🙂 Having a house that’s too hot at night can drain you. I understand why the couch would be preferable.

  3. Reblogged this on By the Mighty Mumford and commented:
    WE DON’T HAVE A COUCH…BUT I SLEPT OUT ON MY MANUAL RECLINER NEAR-ON SIX MONTHS TO KEEP THE FEET UP AND TO BREATHE. WASN’T EASY WITH MY WIFE INSISTING THE TV HAD TO BE ON OVERNIGHT…SO SHE COULD SLEEP! 🙂

  4. HEY AUSTIN—I know this cute redhead blogger down in Florida, really don’t know what she looks like, but her attitude and gravatar image are just great! She currently blogs on HOUSE OF HEART…!

  5. Joseph Nebus says:

    I haven’t really slept on the couch in ages. I get too worried about dropping my laptop on the floor.

  6. Tricia says:

    I enjoy a good stretch on the couch now and again, particularly in the winter (which there is a good deal of here). The proximity of firplace and widows for enjoying the snowfall is perfect for snoozing. I’m glad you are finding some comfort from the heat. 🙂

  7. I do sleep on the couch occasionally. Sometimes that is the only place I can actually fall asleep. Go figure!

  8. Ali Isaac says:

    Cool is not something we have a lack of over here in Ireland, unfortunately. Swap you some of my cool for your heatwave???

  9. donedreaming says:

    I’m with Ali, no heatwave over this side of the pond unfortunately. I would have to fight the dog for the couch so I’ll stick with my bed 🙂

  10. Mindy says:

    My boyfriend and I both fell asleep on the couch yesterday, and you know what? It welcomed us with loving arms!

  11. Sofia Leo says:

    I LOVE sleeping on the couch! A long nap on a weekend, or a short nap in the evening before doing something more productive (sometimes, I’ll admit leading to a whole night) is just the ticket some days. I may be feeling a bit nostalgic, though, as my son has occupied my couch for the past six months and I fear I’ll have to burn it when he leaves because of the stench and divot that isn’t the shape of my ass. Sigh. I miss my couch…

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