Writer Boy vs Runner Boy

duelIt was inevitable that my predominant alter egos would eventually clash for control of my psyche, Modern Philosophers.

It was exactly as Obi Wan predicted…

Runner Boy versus Writer Boy.

The fact that it took eleven weeks for this battle to begin is due mainly to the fact that The Nite Show has been on Summer hiatus.

However, that all changed this week.

The first taping of the new TV season is tomorrow night, so I have been staying up well past my bedtime to write monologue jokes.

Having Writer Boy burning the midnight oil means that Runner Boy might have some difficultly catching that worm…

Your jokes are going to be funnier this year, right?

Your jokes will be funnier this year, right?

This morning, the battle for control of the (my) Universe commenced.

I didn’t need to get up early yesterday because it was a scheduled day off from running.  Today, however, Runner Boy had a date with a 3 mile run.

When the alarm clock went off, I was still mumbling monologue jokes in my sleep, and it was  dark outside the same bedroom window through which a chilly breeze blew.

Writer Boy wanted to stay under the covers and dream about his Emmy acceptance speech for Best Monologue Joke Writing.

Then a disturbance in The Force jostled me from the comfort of my bed.  A quick systems check showed that a full bladder needed attention.

Since I was already out of bed, I put on my Running Toga and laced up my sneakers.

So let me get this straight...you run five days a week, but you still look like that?

So let me get this straight…you run five days a week, but you still look like that?

It was actually a perfect morning for a run.  The chill woke me from my slumber, and running towards the rising sun is always a pretty awesome view.

Even though I was cranky, sleepy, and having trouble keeping my eyes open, I fell into a quicker pace than usual.  Runner Boy seemed to be taking control of my exhausted body and making it do his bidding.

That’s when Writer Boy decided on a rewrite.  Just because his adversary had control of my legs and lungs, didn’t mean that he couldn’t use my brain for his bidding.

And so I ran, faster than usual, and mentally wrote more monologue jokes.

Yes, I was able to run and be creative at the same time without falling and breaking any bones.  I am a Modern Philosopher, like my Father was before me, after all!

Austin 1Of course, I still managed to get my wires crossed.

Or something odd happened up in my head.  I mean, look at that photo, which was taken shortly after I completed my run.

There was definitely something trying to escape out of my cranium!

Hopefully, Writer Boy and Runner Boy can place nice and figure out how to rule the (my) Universe together.  It’s a long TV season, and I intend to keep running as long as the snow doesn’t completely bury me.

Austin 2I’m very sleepy already, Modern Philosophers, but it’s going to be another late night as there are still more jokes that need to be written.

And another 3 miles needs to be run in the morning.

Obi Wan keeps telling me to search my feelings and trust my instincts, but I’m doing my best to block him out because my gut wants to get some ice cream, stay up late watching the shows piling up on my DVR, and then sleep in and blow off my morning run.

It’s not easy being me, Modern Philosophers, and I do absolutely nothing to make it any simpler…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Fitness, Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Writer Boy vs Runner Boy

  1. amommasview says:

    Keep running and writing. Love it 🙂

  2. Love it… I find that running helps me to clear my head and writer girl is much more productive when I get back, once I’ve stopped coughing my guts up that is!

  3. I find running helps my writing. That could be my problem lately, not running. Walking can help too. I have a date with a pair of sneakers next week. Rock on.

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