The Rejects Are Back And Rejectier Than Ever!

Nite Show 2015 SetThe Nite Show With Danny Cashman is back, Modern Philosophers!

The Season Premiere aired last night, and season five is officially under way.

Of course, if the Nite Show is on the air, that means that the Sunday Rejects have also made their triumphant return.

I write a ton of jokes (the actual weight has yet to be verified) for every show, but most of them never make it onto TV to amuse and entertain the good people of Maine.

So every Sunday, I’ll share some of the Rejects on the blog, Modern Philosophers, to give these jokes their moment in the spotlight.

Enough with the introductions.  Here come the Sunday Rejects!

Nite Show jokeIt’s great to be back at The Gracie Theatre after our Summer Break.  While it was nice to have some time off, I regret not asking Governor LePage, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton to take a break during that same period…

What’s the best way to get Governor LePage’s autograph?  Hand him a piece of paper and tell him it’s another veto that just needs his signature…

There’s talk of impeaching Governor LePage, but it’s not a simple process.  Of course, if he keeps overeating and stressing out, it might end up being EMTs, not politicians, who finally remove him from office…

I don’t think they’ll be able to impeach Governor LePage.  They might have a better shot if they try to impeach cobbler the big guy…

I know Governor LePage has been veto crazy all Summer, but there’s no way he can veto the Term Limits Law, right???

Donald Trump wants to build a wall along the Mexican border to keep out illegal immigrants.  What I want to know is if that wall will be strong enough to hold all the Americans in if he wins the election…

Nite Show runnersWe tried to get Donald Trump to come to Maine to be a guest on The Nite Show.  However, his staff told us that Trump had no intention of traveling to Canada in the middle of a Presidential campaign…

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert debuted last week, and Stephen King was one of his first guests.  Apparently, it was more convenient for King to fly to New York and then battle midtown traffic during rush hour to appear on late night TV, than it was to drive a mile across Bangor…

Tom Brady had his Deflategate suspension overturned.  Apparently, he just asked Governor LePage to veto Roger Goodell’s original ruling…

The NFL season is underway, and Patriots QB Tom Brady has already done something historic.  By having a judge overturn his Deflategate suspension, he became the first NFL player to ever appear in a courtroom and not end up in jail…

NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell did not make an appearance at the league’s season opener between the Steelers and the Patriots.  Rumor has it, Goodell was afraid that Patriots TE Rob Gronkowski would follow through on his threat to deflate the Commissioner’s balls…

Nite Show CashIt’s back to school time in Maine, which can mean only one thing: the first snow day of the school year is just around the corner…

Red Sox slugger David Ortiz hit his 500th home run earlier this week.  Ironically, Ortiz hit the homer during Boston’s 500 loss of the season…

Did any of the Sunday Rejects makes you laugh, Modern Philosophers?  Thanks for giving these jokes a chance to finally find an audience.

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t catch the telecast, you can also show your support by liking its Facebook page, checking out clips on its YouTube channel, and by following the show on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

If there was a Sunday Reject that you really liked, feel free to Tweet about it and let Danny know how you feel!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to The Rejects Are Back And Rejectier Than Ever!

  1. grannyK says:

    Trump and the wall one is fantastic!

  2. ksbeth says:

    hail to the return of the rejects! and i love the trump one the best –

  3. All the Le Page jokes landed a punch. And King on Colbert but not the Nite show, tsk, tsk Stephen. The Trump jokes were pretty funny too, Austin. I really look forward to reject Sunday. 😀

  4. Josh Wrenn says:

    I like the Goodell being afraid of Gronk defaulting his balls joke.

  5. floridaborne says:

    I liked the one about Trump and Canada. 🙂

    Been down for the count with strep while visiting my daughter in Oklahoma. Just starting to emerge from the hibernation cave (aka bed).

  6. donedreaming says:

    Definitely the 2 Trump ones (Canada & wall) – can’t believe they didn’t use them, can’t believe he’s standing as a candidate! His hair could stand just on it’s own ..

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