Welcome To The Hotel Krueger

hotelWelcome to the Hotel Krueger, Modern Philosophers.

You can check in once you’ve fallen sleep.  Check out time?  In your dreams, of course.

Don’t forget to tip the bellman.  It’s not our blogger buddy The Hook, but rather, the scary man with the burned face, tattered sweater, and the glove of blades.

You know who I’m talking about, right?

He’s around here somewhere.  Or maybe he’s sneaking into some of the guests’ rooms to make sure they are sound asleep.

Oh, there he is over there…

freddyYes, Modern Philosophers, Freddy Krueger was the architect of my most recent nightmare, which was set in a large, creepy hotel.

Of course, it began as most of my nightmare do…with me desperate to get my ex-wife not to divorce me.

Again, why this is a recurring nightmare boggles my brain.  We’ve been divorced over a decade, we never talk, and I have no interest in being with her again.

As a screenwriter, though, I have to appreciate Krueger’s use of the frightening antagonist to create conflict.  The instigating event of my getting divorced and thrown out on the street to fend for myself really does propel the story forward.

Nice work, Freddy.  Could there be a Best Original Screenplay Oscar in your future?

elm streetMy personal Nightmare on Elm Street was about my trying to adapt to living in a small room connected to the busy lobby of a very popular, but spooky hotel.

I now lived in a long narrow space, and the only furniture was a bed that also served as a couch and work area, a couple of lamps, and an old school TV set with no cable.

One door opened right out onto the street, so Cali and Luna, my beloved kitties who somehow made this dream journey with me, kept getting outside.  I was constantly running out after them to keep them from being forever lost in the unknown city in which I now lived.

The other two doors opened into the hotel lobby and the hotel bar.  Celebrities, who frequented this freaky establishment for some reason, used my living space as a short cut to avoid the crowds in the lobby to get to the bar unnoticed.

They didn’t care that they were barging into my apartment uninvited, or that the constant opening of the doors gave the cats another chance to escape and vanish.

neonIn the end, I wound of catching the eye of a Hollywood publicist who brought his clients to the hotel and used my place as a shortcut.

Once he found out I was a screenwriter, he hired me to write scripts for the various stars who traipsed through my spartan quarters on the way to get liquored up in the bar.  A bar that I never got to visit.

I was intent on writing a great screenplay, hitting it big in Hollywood, and then using that success to win back my ex-wife.

Well played, Freddy.

Well played indeed.

Angel RachelI’ve never been bitten by a radioactive spider, but I swear my Spidey Sense still tingles whenever there is a disturbance in The Force.

I’m fairly certain my nightmare was caused by events of the evening that left me convinced that it was my destiny to spend the rest of my life alone.

Love continues to elude me, and yesterday was the birthday of The Girl Who Moved Away.  I try very hard not to think about her or mourn her anymore.

The Archangel, who is based upon her, never visits the blog anymore, and I rarely mention her in posts.

However, I’m not a robot.  I cannot just turn off my heart at will.  With yesterday being her special day, she was on my mind and in my heart.

And Freddy took advantage of it to pay me a visit.

Scary robotMaybe I would be better off as a robot.  Having feelings and seeking love only seems to lead to pain and disappointment.

Robots, especially those who will enslave mankind during the Robot Apocalypse, have no emotions.  There are no hearts that can be broken.

Robots do not feel pain.

Robots cannot compute what it means to be alone.

I, on the other hand, can feel a lot of things…

BrainMy nightmare, coupled with whatever sickness has possessed my body, prevented me from getting a decent night’s sleep.

I really should have stayed home from work, but I was afraid I’d just fall back asleep and have another nightmare.

Needless to say, I was a little out of it today.

At one point, I tried to order an MRI without Brain.

What I really wanted was a Brain MRI without Contrast.

Austin coldSpeaking of no brain, even though I was sick, losing my voice, didn’t sleep well, and it was 44 degrees outside, I still went for my morning run.

I needed to show my body who was boss, and I thought the cold air would wake me up and get my day off to a great start.

Somewhere Freddy is laughing maniacally at the chaos he’s caused in my life.

heart-snowThe mention of chaos brings me back to love and my heart that longs to be warm again.

I think Freddy and Cupid are working together against me.  Anytime someone who alters the beat of my heart presents herself, there’s a massive roadblock between me, her, and true love.

This time, the devious plan is something entirely new.  Let’s put half a world between Austin and the incredible woman who has unexpectedly caused the butterflies to flutter in his tummy again.

Let’s see how this scenario will crush his spirit and shatter his heart.  She seems to be everything he wants in a partner, aside from living on another continent twelve time zones away.  It’s like an epic romance tale, only the leading man is a total, hopeless dork.

Apparently, at the Hotel Krueger, the nightmares continue during the waking hours…


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Love, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Welcome To The Hotel Krueger

  1. I pressed the like button, Austin. But, truly my friend I hate to see you in such pain, dream or nightmare withstanding. You deserve a woman who appreciates you for who you are. And, you are a very talented and self disciplined gentleman of distinction. So, despite Freddy and Cupid’s machinations, avoid the hotel Krueger, it’s nothing but a heartbreak hotel.

  2. Christina says:

    How does the saying go? “Don’t fall in love. Fall of a bridge, it hurts less.” Could be true. (Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Found my way to you via Bethany, and I’ve been rather drawn in by your words these last few days.) Hope today is a better day for you!

  3. donedreaming says:

    Enough material there for at least 3 screenplays! Don’t they say you have to suffer for your art. Don’t be cutting your ear off though (or any other body parts) as your readers are quite attached to you. Chin up Sunshine, the Universe loves you and one day so will a wonderful woman 🙂

  4. DO NOT Check In My Friend – Run and Run Fast and Hard!!! The woman you are looking for will appear when you are not looking for her and come in the least unexpected way – she is out there my friend 🙂

  5. The Hook says:

    The fame is going to my head, Austin…
    Great work, by the way!

  6. holley4734 says:

    That was unexpected. Thanks for the nightmares. geessh. 🙂

  7. Hold out for that special woman, keep smiling. 🙂

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