Never Reject A Chili Cook Off

ChiliHappy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

The House on the Hill smells incredible right now, not only because I took a shower, but also because I’m making chili.

A fresh bowl of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman was served to Mainers last night, which means that this chef can now offer some leftover Sunday Rejects.

I’m not sure how the chili will turn out, but I’d love it if you could tell me if these jokes, which didn’t make it onto last night’s broadcast, are hilariously edible.

Take a seat, put your napkin in your lap, and enjoy.  The Sunday Rejects are served!

There are some very famous family ties in the field of Presidential hopefuls.  Jeb Bush’s father is former President George H. W. Bush and his brother is former President George W. Bush.  Hillary Clinton’s husband is former President Bill Clinton.  And it was recently discovered that Bernie Sanders is the long lost, separated at birth, twin brother of Back to the Future’s Doc Brown…

music 2Autumn has finally arrived.  Here’s a little known Fall fact: Maine is the only state where the leaves fall off the trees, change color, and then turn into snow before they hit the ground…

It’s Fall foliage season.  Unlike Maine’s population, the color of the leaves actually changes every year.

The Walking Dead’s companion series, Fear The Walking Dead, premiered to huge ratings last month, proving that FDR had no idea what he was talking about with that fear quote.

Have you seen those new KFC commercials with Norm MacDonald as Colonel Sanders?  I don’t know what’s been the bigger surprise coming back from the dead: Colonel Sanders or MacDonald’s career…

It was recently revealed that Hillary Clinton’s email server was kept in a bathroom closet in Denver.  Donald Trump admitted he locks servers in the bathroom all the time, but only as punishment after they spill something on his party guests…

200 cameraBrian Williams returns to TV on MSNBC.  I can’t wait to hear his story about how he caused the Stock Market Crash of 1929…

The Pope is coming to America! While that is actual news, and not the title of the sequel to Eddie Murphy’s 1988 classic Coming to America, it will soon be both once I put the finishing touches on my screenplay…

On this date in history in 1989, Doogie Howser premiered on ABC, while on this date in 1994, ER premiered on NBC.  In my opinion, why Dr. Howser wasn’t running that ER is still one of the greatest unanswered questions in television history…

The Intern, starring Robert DeNiro and Anne Hathaway hits theaters this weekend.  Contrary to rumors started by The Nite Show’s writers, this is not a movie about Timbo, the fired Nite Show intern…

Empire premiered on Fox this week.  No word yet from the network if Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine actually strike back this season…

Nite Show jokeOlivia Newton-John turns 67 today.  I bet “Let’s get physical!” takes on a whole new meaning at that age…

Gas prices continue to fall across the United States.  I guess invading Iraq a quarter century ago is finally paying dividends…

WWE Live is being held at the Cross Insurance Center next weekend.  Leaders of the Republican National Committee will be on hand to research if a steel cage match might be the best way to pick their 2016 Presidential Nominee…

What did you think of the Sunday Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of them tickle your funny bone?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t catch the show on TV, you can still show your support by liking its Facebook page, checking out clips on its YouTube channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

24 Responses to Never Reject A Chili Cook Off

  1. D. Parker says:

    Hahaha, these are great, especially the Olivia Newton-John, gas prices, FearTWD, Pope, and Brian Williams. Said it before, I’ll say it again, the show needs a bigger monologue. Hope you’re have a super Sunday, Austin. 🙂

  2. Josh Wrenn says:

    I love the Brian Williams joke. That is monologue joke all the way. I could hear that from Colbert or Stewart.

  3. The Fall Foliage-Maine population joke killed, The Trump Server and WWE/RNC jokes crushed😂

  4. If these are the rejects, I’d never survive the jokes that made the cut! Thank you for the deep belly laugh. Now, about that chili recipe….

  5. Glenda says:

    I really like the gas prices gag. Why are these rejected? And mushrooms in the chili? Your time in California is showing…

  6. nolanwrites says:

    Hahaha! I love the these jokes, especially the ones about Timbo the intern and the Pope!

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