Maine Werewolves Still Freaking Out From Blood Moon Eclipse

EclipseHow many of you ventured outside to check out the lunar eclipse last night, Modern Philosophers?

Did you think it was gorgeous?  Did you marvel at the rare sight of the Blood Moon slowly vanishing from the sky as if Maine’s Witches were playing a nasty trick on you?

If you were like me, you might have taken advantage of the opportunity to finally post all the amazing lunar eclipse tweets you’ve been saving up for the past six months.

Yes, I got pretty witty last night as I stood in the driveway of The House on the Hill in my pajamas and stared up at the starry night sky.  Feel free to check out my Twitter feed in case you missed those eclipse themed zingers.

I had no idea at the time, of course, that one was going to be a hell of a lot more prophetic than the others…

I had totally forgotten to check on my Werewolf friends, Modern Philosophers, so I made sure to seek out Gary Lincoln this morning.

Timbo & WolfGary, pictured with me being a real jokester last Halloween, is the Leader of Maine’s largest Werewolf Pack.

He did not look well when I showed up at his place after work this evening.

“It was a brutal night, Austin,” Gary relayed with a heavy sigh as we sat down on the porch.  “The pack was so excited.  The first Howler of Autumn, the Blood Moon, and gorgeous weather on top of that.  We had out biggest turn out in months.”

Maine’s Werewolves gather on the night of the full moon for a “Howler” and run the entire length of the state, howl at the moon, and totally embrace their hairier side.

“Even though our human brains understood that there was going to be an eclipse, once we transform, it’s a whole different ballgame,” he explained as he yawned and wiped the sleep from his eyes.  “Once we go full Werewolf, we don’t remember our human thoughts.  We have Wolf minds and a pack mentality.”

In other words, thousands of Maine Werewolves set off on their monthly Howler oblivious to the fact that the full moon, which they depend upon to unleash their inner beast, was going to abandon them for a few hours.

werewolf“We were somewhere up near Jackman when the eclipse began,” Gary told me as his body shuddered at the memory.  “At first, I felt a little tingle.  Like I had stepped on a thorn.  I thought nothing of it, and I just kept running.  If anything, I picked up the pace because I don’t like Jackman and wanted to get the hell out of there!”

Shortly thereafter, disaster struck.

“Do you have any idea what it’s like to be sprinting at top speed across a quiet forest when you unexpectedly begin to change back into a human, who at best, can run an eleven minute mile?” Gary asked with a sarcastic chuckle.  “I’m lucky I didn’t break every bone in my body, crash headfirst into a tree, or get trampled by the rest of the pack.”

“I looked back at one point, and I saw hundreds of half human/half Werewolf creatures stumbling, falling, colliding, and simply freaking out at the sight of each other.  It was not the greatest moment for Maine’s Werewolves,” he admitted as he bowed his head and tried to block out the images of the previous night.

Luckily, there were no deaths or life threatening injuries to the members of any of Maine’s Werewolf Packs.  There were, however, lots of sprains, broken bones, black eyes, concussions, skinned knees and knuckles, and bite injuries.

“We’re hoping everyone is ready for next month’s Howler,” Lincoln said solemnly.  “The High Council of Werewolves is going to meet in the meantime to try to put a safety plan in place before the next eclipse.”

moon manThe Man in the Moon, an old friend of the blog, called me while I was at Gary’s to relay his deepest apologies to all of Maine’s Werewolves.

He asked me to post this on the blog tonight:

“Please let my Lupine brothers and sisters know that I am so sorry for the injuries they suffered last night, when they were supposed to be under my watch.  I did not mean to abandon them, but I have absolutely no control  over when the shadows of the Heavens will cause me to vanish from the night sky.  My thoughts and prayers are with them.”

Gary told me he was touched by The Man in the Moon’s comments, and would make sure every Werewolf in Maine understood that last night’s eclipse was not his fault.

I asked Gary if there was any chance Maine’s Werewolves would skip the next Howler that coincided with a lunar eclipse, and he smiled and shook his head.

“No way, brother.  That’s not the nature of the Beast.”

And then he let rip with a mighty howl that proved he was recovering quickly from last night’s incident.


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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6 Responses to Maine Werewolves Still Freaking Out From Blood Moon Eclipse

  1. jan says:

    Hahaha! Okay – enough of the blood moon for you, young man!

  2. My grandson wrote about the moon also. He had a great view of the sky–living out in the Texas countryside. According to him, a face in the sky grinned a sinister grin and tree gremlins were dancing around in circles. He didn’t mention Werewolves.
    I guess Werewolves prefer Maine. Probably too hot for them in Texas?
    And me? I didn’t see anything because I forgot to look up. I missed the whole thing….sigh.

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