Can The Rejects Come Over After School?

music 3Happy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

The 200th episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, and we have sent Danny to The Smithsonian to commemorate this milestone event.

The folks at The Smithsonian didn’t ask for Danny.  The Nite Show team just needed a little break from him, and who doesn’t love a trip to Washington, DC in the Fall?

Timbo the Intern arranged it all since he knew Danny’s credit card numbers and PIN codes.  We hope he brings us back some souvenirs.

Now that episode #200 has aired, I can share some of my monologue jokes that didn’t make it onto the air.  Can you please give a warm Modern Philosopher welcome to this week’s batch of Sunday Rejects?

music 11It’s The Nite Show’s 200th episode.  Based on the quality of the first 199 episodes, there’s nowhere to go but up…

Welcome to The Nite Show’s Bicentennial Celebration!  To make this 200th episode memorable, we’re going to try really hard to be funny just this once…

Tonight is The Nite Show’s 200th episode, making it to 200th consecutive one on which Stephen King has not appeared…

Tonight is The Nite Show’s 200th episode, and I’d like to point out that there is no such  thing as term limits on television…

Tonight is our 200th episode, but to be honest, The Nite Show doesn’t look an episode over 150… 

No word yet on whether Vice President Joe Biden is going to join the race for President.  However, the Democratic National Committee did announce today that a deal has been reached to ensure that, should another Democrat win the election, Biden will be allowed to continue living in his tree house on White House property…

Vice President Joe Biden has yet to announce if he is going to run for President.  According to sources, Biden is still waiting to hear from his most trusted adviser.  However, the last thing Simon Said was “Hop on one leg while rubbing your tummy”…

Any Bloom County fans in the audience?  The beloved strip has made it triumphant return on Facebook.  When asked why he decided to bring Opus and the gang back after more than 25 years, creator Berkeley Breathed explained that Bill the Cat desperately needed a job, and his only two real options were working on Bloom County, or posing as Donald Trump’s new hair…

Nite Show jokeHusson University’s Homecoming is this weekend.  I can only imagine what those poor graduates must have thought when they returned to their beloved Alma Mater to discover me defiling this stage…

Motley Crue is performing in Bangor later this month.  You just know that a potential Annie Wilkes is out there buying a sledgehammer and plotting to keep her favorite band in Maine for the entire winter…

The Martian opens in theaters this weekend.  The film stars Matt Damon as an astronaut left behind on Mars to help Danny Ocean rob the planet of its gold…

On this date in history in 1920, the NFL played its first games.  To celebrate this special anniversary, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell has suspended Tom Brady for the rest of the season…

What did you think of the Sunday Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  Did any of them make you laugh?  Did you think some of them should have made the cut?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t watch the telecast, you can always support the show by liking its Facebook page, checking out clips on its YouTube channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

 

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Can The Rejects Come Over After School?

  1. You know, someone really needs to whisper into Mr. Maine’s (Kings) favorite sons ear. I can just imagine the accolades—not to mention the enormous thundering ovation— he’d receive for doing the show.

  2. markbialczak says:

    Make all the fun you want about Roger and Tom, Austin. A judge might reverse the punch line, though!

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