Just Let Me Eat Cake!

cake 1The days that start out well are the ones that make me the most suspicious, Modern Philosophers.

Deep Thoughts like that have earned me my toga and kept me out of a straitjacket.

If you’re prepared for the worst, then there’s always chocolate cake waiting.  Remember that, and you’ll lead a somewhat happy life.

Being a Modern Philosopher is easy if you let the Deep Thoughts flow, don’t ever forget the importance of laughter, and always know the location of a good bakery.

And always do your best not to get chocolate all over your toga!

cake 2As my foreshadowing suggested, the day got off to a solid start.  I did a 3 mile run without upsetting my slightly injured leg, texted the pretty lass who always knows how to put a smile on my face (even when it’s covered in sweat after a run), and managed to fill Zombie Car’s gas tank for only $27.50!

It seems like only last winter that it was costing me another $20 to put the tiger in the tank, so my wallet was quite happy with that receipt from the pump.

Even though I don’t like change, and I’ve taken an unhealthy interest in the reclusive lifestyle made famous by monks, hermits, and people on the run from the law, I set in motion plans that will certainly shake up my life in a month’s time.

I’m very excited about that.

Like I said, it was a good morning.

cake 3Before lunch had even rolled around, though, the day had taken such a sharp and sudden turn, that it threw out its back and had to be rushed to the hospital for an MRI.

I, however, got stuck in the office to deal with the fallout.  I felt like I was staring down into a quarry filled with thousands of walkers, and I could only think about one thing…

CHOCOLATE CAKE!

And, yes, Modern Philosophers, when I thought about CHOCOLATE CAKE!, it was always capitalized, in bold, and followed by an exclamation point.

I know that women often stereotype men as having a one track mind, and I had no problem playing directly into that stereotype today.

I was the conductor of an out of control train hurtling down a single track with only one destination in mind…

The Bakery Section of my local grocery store.

cake 4Sure, other desserts tempted my sweet tooth.  Like this basket of whoopie pies.  I probably could’ve inhaled them all right there in the store, but I prefer to do my comfort eating in the private luxury of The House on the Hill.

cake 6Pies are always a viable option, but my doctor has discovered, through simple trial and error, that chocolate cake works best when I need to de-stress.

Did anyone else just freak out and realize that “de-stress” is just a slightly jumbled version of “desserts”?

Whoa!  My Keanu Moment for sure, dude!

Good old Dr. Jekyll called in my prescription to the Bakery Department, so all I had to do was pick up my special meds on the way home.

cake 7Despite those rumors you might have heard, I did not personally empty out the donut trays before picking up my cake.

Clearly, some other stressed out people got there first.

I wonder if Dr. Jekyll had written them prescriptions, too, or if they had simply decided to self-medicate.

cake 8Because of the stressful day I had, you are being rewarded with this ridiculous blog post about my lust for comfort foods.

I’m going to have a healthy dinner, watch a little TV, and hang out with the kitties.

Then I am going devour that chocolate cake like the world is about to end and the only way to save myself from the stress is to go into a sugar coma.

Hope you had a better day than mine, Modern Philosophers.

If not, Dr. Jekyll would be more than happy to prescribe some CHOCOLATE CAKE!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Just Let Me Eat Cake!

  1. D. Parker says:

    I admit to having a complicated relationship with cake…I understand. 🙂

  2. Glenda says:

    I find a good, silly song helps too!

  3. Gawd! Now I want cake!

  4. grannyK says:

    I like cake! My day was a challenge as I had a couple of extra kids and then one child decided it was puke all over the house day today. I was busy, for sure! Wednesday will be better!

  5. donedreaming says:

    Hey you are a bit late for National Cake Week, but then there is a time difference from here to your side of the pond so that’s ok. Cake can solve all sorts of problems, must say you have generous portions of problem-solving cake. Hope it filled that gap and brought a smile to your face 🙂

  6. M.W. Thomas says:

    Hope you’re feeling better. I’ve never had a whoopie pie. Could you teleport one of those to me? Or maybe a 3D printer recipe.

  7. Gail Kaufman says:

    That chocolate cake looks heavenly. I’ve been caving in on desserts too. I just posted about
    apple pie
    At least with apple pie, I can pretend it’s healthy, sort of, or at least blame it on tradition. It’s apple-picking season after all.

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