Sunday Rejects: The Humor Awakens

awakensHappy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night.  Have I ever mentioned that I’m a writer for that show?

And that I love Star Wars?

The two aren’t really related, but this is my blog, so I can merge them into a delightful Sunday Rejects post.

There was a disturbance in The Force that prevented some of my monologue jokes from making it onto the air during last night’s telecast.

I have searched my feelings, though, and I know The Force is strong in many of them.  So I would like to awaken your funny bone by sharing some of the Sunday Rejects with you.

May the laughs be with you…

RejectionAutumn has returned to Maine, which means that Linus is spending his nights in the pumpkin patch behind Dunkin Donuts, patiently awaiting the arrival of the Great Pumpkin Spice…

Halloween is on the horizon.  While many celebrants plan to dress up as Presidential hopefuls, most Mexican Americans are praying that Donald Trump decides to go as a pinata…

The Nite Show is five years old, which means I’ve been coming into your homes on Saturday nights for five years.  Don’t you think it’s finally about time you put something decent in your fridge for Joe and I to snack on?

The Nite Show is celebrating its five year anniversary, which is something 95% of celebrity marriages never get to do…

The Nite Show is five years old, which means I have now officially been on your TV more times than that annoying Mardens Lady… 

Nite Show logo 3The Nite Show is now five years old, and like most five year olds, it is still spelling “night” incorrectly…

It’s The Nite Show’s fifth birthday.  I assume the show is a Taurus given the amount of bull we’ve put on TV over the past five years…

The Season Premiere of The Walking Dead aired on AMC last Sunday.  Despite what Donald Trump wants you to believe, however, “The Walking Dead” is not the official nickname for all the other Republican Presidential contenders…

The first Democratic Presidential Debate aired on Tuesday.  According to the most recent polls, 13% of potential voters who watched the debate are still sound asleep…

Motley Crue plays Bangor tomorrow night.  Before you call in a noise complaint, please be compassionate.  The aging band members are too vain to wear their hearing aids on stage, so the only way they can hear what they’re playing, is to crank the speakers to that volume…

Taping 13Bangor Beer Week begins tomorrow, conveniently followed by Bangor Bathroom Day next Monday…

Bangor Beer Week begins tomorrow.  Don’t forgot to pick up your official Nite Show beer goggles at the concession stand before you leave the theater…

What did you think of the Sunday Rejects?  Did any of them make you laugh?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  Follow the show on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Sunday Rejects: The Humor Awakens

  1. Josh Wrenn says:

    Motley Crue was spot-on.

  2. The Donalds pinata one was frightfully good. And The Walking (Republican) Dead was a howling corker! 😀

  3. markbialczak says:

    The first and last were good for me, Austin. I didn’t need beer goggles to laugh at the Great Pumpkin Spice patch. 🙂

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