How exciting is it that The Great Pumpkin will be here to visit us soon? I hope he brings me plenty of candy because I’ve been a very good boy this year.
Are you reading this, Great Pumpkin? You’re getting a shout out in my blog’s very popular weekly feature. That must bode well for me, right???
I prefer Mounds bars, Great Pumpkin, but you already know that from all my letters…
Sorry this post is so late, but I’ve been on the phone with the Sweet Irish Girl. You wouldn’t believe how I’ve spent a majority of the last two hours, Modern Philosophers.
I’ve been explaining to an extremely intelligent woman, who lives in the capital of the Emerald Isle, what a shillelagh is.
How baffling is that? I mean, it’s like she suddenly wants me to believe she isn’t Irish at all, and that sexy brogue (a word she loathes, by the way, since it means “shoe” in Gaelic) is just an act!
The Sweet Irish Girl insists that a shillelagh is something Americans have made up and given to Leprechauns as part of an ongoing anti-Irish stereotype. I hate to tell you this, Sweetheart, but Seamus is hanging his head in disgust and questioning the entire Irish school system.
Enough of a glimpse into my bizarre personal life. It’s time to head out to the Think Tank and be one with our Deep Thoughts.
There’s tons of Halloween candy. And shillelaghs. Won’t you join me?
This week’s topic: Tomorrow is Halloween. What truly scares you?
For the sake of brevity and your sanity, though, I’ll narrow down my list to some of the more blog friendly entries.
Driving in the snow scares the hell out of me. Even after all this time, I still get a sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach when a big storm is coming and I need to go to work.
I clench the steering wheel so tightly that I nearly snap it off. I constantly mumble prayers under my breathe. I sweat profusely. It is not a pretty sight.
Some afternoons, I drive myself mad as I look out at the snow and obsess about the drive home. I know it’s not healthy, but I do think that by forcing myself to face this fear over and over, I am empowering myself and not allowing it to control me.
Large groups scare me. I’m not talking social situations, but more like I’m the only one out on the street, and suddenly, there’s a pack of strangers in the distance.
This goes back to a frightening experience I had one summer night when I lived in Brooklyn, and the mere thought of it still freaks me out. I love New York, but I do not miss being exposed to such a scenario.
A future in which I am alone and unloved scares me most of all. I worry about it far more than any one person should, yet I can’t help but accept that it is my fate.
I used to lose sleep over it and get stomach pains because of it.
Nothing scares me more.
And I’m scared to death of that not becoming a reality…
Happy Halloween from The (Not So Haunted) House on the Hill, Modern Philosophers!