All Saints Love The Sunday Rejects

Nite Show Cue CardsHappy All Saints Day, Modern Philosophers!

Also known as The Day After Halloween to non-Catholics, November 1 falls on a Sunday this year, which means a new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night.

Last night’s broadcast was the first of two from Houlton, and as you can see in this first photo, I made it onto the air in my role as Cue Card Boy!

While I managed to get on TV, not all of the monologue jokes I wrote were as lucky.  So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to share some of the Rejects now to give them a chance to find an audience, and maybe even earn a laugh or two.

Let’s give a warm All Saints Day welcome to the Sunday Rejects!

Houlton 1Joe Biden has officially decided not to run for President.  Insiders say the Vice President isn’t running because he recently pulled a hamstring while climbing into his tree house in the White House Rose Garden, and his doctor told him he couldn’t run for 6-8 weeks…

The new trailer for Star Wars Episode VII aired during a broadcast of Monday Night Football.  So for one night, football replaced quidditch as the most beloved sport of American nerds…

We’re coming to you from Houlton tonight.  Once again, I deeply apologize to our studio audience for the long line to use the outhouse…

As you know, we’re coming to you from Houlton tonight.  In fact, we’re so close to the border, that we’re going to use Canadian rules for tonight’s broadcast…

Tonight is Halloween, which means tomorrow is All Saints Day.  So I’ll be saying a special prayer to Saint Carson, the patron saint of late night talk show hosts…

Have you heard about the Burger King Halloween Whopper that supposedly turns your poop green?  I can’t wait to see what they come up with for Christmas…

Houlton 2The new trailer for Star Wars Episode VII premiered earlier this month during a telecast of Monday Night Football.  So for one night at least, American nerds got to associate football players with Jedi Knights and The Force, rather than with swirlies and wedgies…

Did any of the Sunday Rejects make you laugh, Modern Philosophers?

It’s a smaller batch this week because I pulled all the Halloween jokes I wrote for this show, and put them in last week’s Rejects post.

Here’s a little bonus from the show’s closing credits…

The Nite Show With Danny Cashman airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t catch the telecast, you can still support the show by liking is Facebook page, checking out video clips on its YouTube Channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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10 Responses to All Saints Love The Sunday Rejects

  1. Outhouse, Canadian rules, Saint Carson, and particularly the Burger King Christmas Whopper were all big winners. 😀

  2. Glenda says:

    Love me some Saint Carson, Austen!

  3. Pingback: Sunday Round Up #7 | Laidig's Broadway

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