It’s Austin again. You might remember me from a few months ago. I wrote a letter complaining about how you almost ruined my morning run by playing “Wonderwall” by Oasis.
You can find a copy of that complaint here: (No Oasis. Ever!)
If you check my membership, you will see that I listen only to the Foo Fighters channel on your app. Not the Oasis Channel. Not the Shoot Me, I Hate My Life Channel. No music expert that you could bring in to testify would ever be able to link those whiny Brits to Dave Grohl’s band of merry hard rocking men.
Music is a very important part of my running, and if the wrong song comes on in the middle of a run, it could cause my muscles to seize up and paralyze me. My lungs might decided that an Oasis song is the perfect time to shut down all services. My heart could break simply because the wrong song might remind it of an ex-girlfriend.
I want to be inspired, pumped, and pushed forward by the music blasting in my ears while I’m engaged in an activity that I hate with a passion.
I do not want to be pissed off at my phone, tearing the ear buds out of my ears, and composing a letter to your Complaint Department during the third mile of a planned four mile run because you idiotically played a song not at all related to Foo Fighters.
Am I making myself clear?
I must admit, you have done an excellent job of keeping my feed Oasis free since receiving my previous letter. Major props and thanks for that, Pandora. You have not let the Gallagher Brothers back out of the box, and that has made my runs much better.
Don’t rest on your laurels too long, though. If I’m writing to you again today, we clearly have another problem.
I was on my annual All Saints Day run this morning, trying to shakes off the cobwebs from Halloween, when a Foo Fighters song ended and an unacceptable tune began…
On the Foo Fighters Channel?
Be honest. Are you drunk, Pandora?
How is “Jessie’s Girl” at all worthy of rotationl? Is Dave Grohl secretly a fan of General Hospital? Is Rick Springfield the band’s godfather?
Don’t get me wrong. There are times when I wish I had Jessie’s girl. She’s very attractive, smart, and has a great sense of humor.
However, I have this problem with falling for girls who are already taken, and I’m working really hard not to ever do that again. So, the song reminds me of the skeletons I’m trying to keep hidden in my heart’s closet.
Does that make sense?
I want Dave and the boys rocking out when I’m running and need that extra motivation to go that extra mile.
I don’t want former soap opera heart throbs singing about how they want another guy’s girl. Especially when we know he can steal her anytime he wants since he’s got all that General Hospital residual money to spend on her.
So can we add Rick Springfield to my Do Not Play Ever list?
Thanks, Pandora. Rock on!