Welcome To America; I Apologize In Advance

American flagHappy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

As I might have mentioned, The Sweet Irish Girl is visiting The House on the Hill.  Today, I took her out for a Sunday Fun Day.

A camera crew followed us around, as usual, and I wanted to share some photos with you.

The Sweet Irish Girl is very shy, which might be evident in the photos of her…

Sunday 17Even though I’ve been big on healthy eating lately, Modern Philosophers, I’ve been dying to go to the all you can eat breakfast buffet at Governor’s for a very long time.

I was able to charm The Sweet Irish Girl into being my date.  Yes, it was just a ploy to stuff my face with bacon, but I still wanted her delightful company.

Yes, I ate like a man coming off a three week hunger strike.  Yes, there was a lot of pork related items involved.  Yes, my beautiful date marveled at how much I was able to eat while she just enjoyed an order of Eggs Benedict.

Sunday 16How could I allow her to come to America and not experience the modern marvel that is Walmart?  She had heard me going on about it, and needed to see it with her very own green Irish eyes.

Were they smiling after we left?  I’m not sure.  What I do know for certain, however, is I was as giddy as a schoolboy after trying on this Star Wars jacket.

Am I wearing it as I type this?

Of course.  You don’t need to be a Jedi to know that, Modern Philosophers!

Sunday 15Not that she didn’t know for sure after my obscene eating display at breakfast, but The Sweet Irish Girl still asked why so many Americans appear to be out of shape.

After she saw these yard long boxes of chocolate, all her questions were answered.

Yes, they have chocolate in Ireland.  However, they sell it by the meter.  Stupid metrics…

Writer’s Note: The Sweet Irish Girl never asked about Americans being out of shape. I made it up because it made for funny blogging.

Sunday 13As I write this post, I am enjoying the most delicious Snapple I’ve ever had.

Why is it so good?  Because I’m drinking it out of this Star Wars cup I bought at Walmart!

The Force is strong with this Snapple!

Sunday 12Can you tell that it’s me in the above photo, Modern Philosophers?

I bet the awesome Star Wars jacket gave me away, right?  I told The Sweet Irish Girl I needed to buy more cold weather gear so I can continue to run over the winter.  She helped me pick out a cool running jacket, and this incredibly creepy runner’s mask.

I feel like I should be making a ransom demand, but all want is for you to laugh at my blog and form a few Deep Though in the process.

Sunday 11Sunday 10Sunday 9Apparently, the local shopping carts had a wild party last night, as evidenced by these four carts that we discovered passed out in the parking lot across from Governor’s.

That last cart seems to have pissed itself, judging from all the wet spots around it.

I was so embarrassed by the display of public drunkenness, but The Sweet Irish Girl laughed it off.  Apparently, the streets of Dublin City Centre are littered with Leprechauns who passed out after a night of alcohol fueled debauchery.

Sunday 8The Modern Philosopher having some Deep Thoughts in the park.  How do you like that new cold weather running jacket?

Not as cool as the Star Wars one, but it kept me warm!

Sunday 4I know America is weird and disturbing, but please don’t run away!  I really like having you around!

Sunday 7Awww…how cute is her hat?  I might not mind Winter so much, if I had such adorable things to admire every day…

Writer’s note: That comment got me a kiss.

Sunday 5Sure, The Sweet Irish Girl might have run away from me earlier, but I still managed to score.  And at soccer…I mean…football.

Oooo, it’s really painful calling this sport football, but I’m trying to woo a very specific audience with this one.

Sunday 1And now, The Sweet Irish Girl is in the kitchen making us lasagna.  I’ve never had Irish lasagna, but I’m told that Leprechauns are part of the recipe.

Don’t worry, Seamus, I’m just having the craic the you.

By the Moons of Endor, I’m starting to talk like her.  Shite!

Sunday 3Delicious smells are wafting from the kitchen.  Hopefully, tomorrow’s post doesn’t come to you from the Emergency Room!

Writer’s Note: She chuckled at that, but I might be in trouble once you’re gone…

It was a fun, busy Sunday at The House on the Hill.  Hope you all had a great day!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

12 Responses to Welcome To America; I Apologize In Advance

  1. jacobemet says:

    Better than a reality show, Austin. 😉

  2. Haha very amusing! I’m from Ireland, from Meath, so pass on my greetings to your friend 🙂 All the best!

  3. adamjasonp says:

    I’m smiling and chuckling from all the over here in Maine… oh, right, you live in Maine, too… Don’t scare her away with the camera! 😉 …Looking good, Austin!

  4. Rica says:

    I thoroughly enjoyed this! And yes, there is much to marvel at within Walmart. Last time I was there, they were offering free samples of wine. Apparently, we require adult beverages with the experience!

  5. Pamela says:

    Happy that you are having a delightful visit with the Irish lass Austin . You deserve happiness !

  6. ksbeth says:

    smiling, smiling…

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