It has nothing to do with my cooking (in)ability, but rather their hope that a little one on one time will allow them to persuade me to write about them more on my blog.
The thing is, I’m more likely to write about a politician either when he or she does something ridiculous, or least expects me to mock them.
I can’t be bought with polite dinner conversation and the gift of Snapple and apple pie.
My Deep Thoughts don’t work that way. I simply write what the voices in my head command me to put on the interwebs for you to enjoy.
I do, however, think it would be a fun Thanksgiving Eve Philosophical Exercise to decide which Presidential Hopeful I would invite to Thanksgiving Dinner…
Plus, it’s nearly impossible to get the wretched stench of New Jersey out of your house once you’ve let it inside.
We also know you’re more likely to end up in a White Castle than in the White House.
He might be fun to joke with for a little while, but I see him hunkering down on the couch with a case of Bush Beer to watch the Cowboys game. Boring.
I see him as the cool uncle, who shows up in a ’67 Mustang and insists I take it for a spin while he sips a Scotch and whistles at cute women from the passenger seat.
He’d probably give me a wad of bills and tell me to buy something nice with it. Maybe he’d convince me to enter into some wild business venture with him, or ask me to follow him around during his last year in the White House and write his biography.
My Deep Thoughts tell me that she would be a great conversationalists, and being able to brag that I had Thanksgiving Dinner with the (maybe possibly) first female President of the United States would be awesome.
Then again, something about her conjures up memories of my Evil Stepmother, and I’ve already spent way too many Thanksgivings with that woman.
If she brings Bill, though, the scales do tip in her favor…
I could probably convince him to pay off my mortgage and maybe even finance one or two of my screenplays, so that makes the idea of inviting him very tempting.
Of course, all the crazy talk would remind me of my ex-father-in-law and that was not a man I liked very much.
I’m also afraid Cali and Luna would constantly attack that thing on his head because they’d be desperate to play with it.
Tough call. Huge decision. HUUUUUUUGE! Of course, it would be the top rated Thanksgiving Dinner in the history of The House on the Hill…
That would probably be the entertainment story of the year, and I’d have the scoop for my blog. Just think of all the hits I’d get when that post goes viral!
On the other hand, Bernie gives off a definite Crazy Uncle vibe. I can see him showing up with his own food packed in ancient Tupperware containers. He’d probably make me crank up the heat because his frail body would be too cold. What if he complains that I’m a one percenter just because I put out cloth napkins for Thanksgiving?
If I could get him to put on a lab coat and arrive in a DeLorean, I’d probably decide to Bern Baby Bern. Do you think he’d do it?
He’s just so mellow and quiet, and he always looks like how I feel after I devour a humongous Thanksgiving Dinner.
He’d fit right in at The House on the Hill tomorrow…even more so if he arrived in a comfy pair of sweatpants and announced he was a huge football fan.
I’ve still got a lot of Deep Thoughts to ponder before I make a decision on this one…
Which Presidential hopeful would you invite to Thanksgiving?