You Should Never Reject Thanksgiving Leftovers

T dinnerHappy Sunday, Modern Philosophers!

As you enjoy your Thanksgiving leftovers, I’m going to share some monologue jokes leftover from last night’s airing of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman.

This was the taping attended by The Sweet Irish Girl, so I consider this batch of Sunday Rejects to be the most romantic ever written.

Of course, that’s just plain foolishness as they are mostly about Election Day in Maine.

Special thanks to Jennifer and Michael Murphy who took the cool photos of me as Cue Card Boy that I am going to sprinkle throughout this post.

Put down the gravy, swallow that stuffing, and give a warm, Modern Philosopher welcome to this week’s batch of Sunday Rejects…

cue 1Election Day was earlier this month.  Donald Trump declared himself the winner and immediately built a wall around Trump Tower to keep out reality…

In Ellsworth, a proposed $4.9M bond proposal to save the library failed to pass.  When asked for a comment, dismayed bond supports simply replied: “Shhhhhh!”

In Lewiston, a runoff vote is being held on December 8 to decide the outcome of the race between incumbent Mayor Bob MacDonald and challenger Ben Chin.  My gut tells me it’s going to be Chin by a hair…

Cue 2Auburn Mayor Jonathan LaBonte won re-election over challenger Peter Letourneau.  “Not the French guy” finished a distant third…

A ballot recount in the Maine Legislative Race in Sanford confirms that people in Sanford aren’t as good at counting as people in the rest of the state…

In Standish, Republican Lester Ordway was elected to the House of Representatives after beating a Democrat, a Green Party candidate, an Independent, and a Write In candidate.  And people say that Maine has no diversity…

Cue 3In other Election Day news, Mainers voted by an overwhelming margin to remain the Whitest State in the Union…

The Bangor Daily News has purchased the St. John Valley Times, marking the first time in over three months that anyone bought a copy of the St. John Valley Times…

The Republican and Democratic Presidential Candidates are still holding debates.  I don’t actually watch them, but I assume they are debating about which one of them is the most annoying…

Cue 4Thanksgiving is this week.  Mainers will gather to eat enormous meals followed by an overwhelming amount of desserts.  Or as Governor LePage calls it…Thursday…

Maine is so white, that everyone here refers to the huge shopping day after Thanksgiving as Friday…

Today is National Gingerbread Day and National Pumpkin Pie Day.  Or as the Maine Legislature likes to calls it, a good day to try to sneak a new law past a distracted Governor LePage…

The last movie in The Hunger Games franchise opened last night.  Shouldn’t those people be able to feed themselves now given the combined grosses of the first three films?

Nite Show Cue CardsWhat did you think of the Sunday Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  Bet you didn’t realize Election Day in Maine could be so humorous!  How did I look with those cue cards?

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t catch the telecast, you can always support the show by liking its Facebook page, checking out videos on its YouTube channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

I really do look forward to your comments on these jokes, so please don’t be shy about sharing your thoughts.  Thanks!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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9 Responses to You Should Never Reject Thanksgiving Leftovers

  1. Ritu says:

    Hope you had a good thanksgiving!

  2. grannyK says:

    They are all great this week!

  3. Gail Kaufman says:

    The Trump and library jokes are my favorite. You look like you were having a blast except for the last photo facing the camera – you look so serious.

    • Austin says:

      Well, the last photo was taken on a commercial break, so my game face was on. The black and white ones were taken between shows when I was able to relax!

  4. Joseph Nebus says:

    Of that set I’d think the St. John Valley Times joke to be the one that’d get the best response. Although I think the funniest the one about the day after Thanksgiving just being Friday.

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