Could We Have Christmas All Year If Santa Wasn’t Lazy?

Christmas FireplaceAs you know, Modern Philosophers, I am very good friends with Santa Claus.

St. Nick and I Skype all the time, and he loves to give me exclusive insight into life at the North Pole to share with you on my blog.

As the Holiday Season and Christmas draw closer, our chats are less frequent.

Every once in a while, though, he’ll surprise me with an email or phone call just to let me know he’s thinking about me.

Today was one of those days.  I woke up to find a email from Santa, and I laughed so hard that I knew I’d have to share it with you.  Here is his email…

SantaDear Austin,

Hope December is treating you well.  I’m doing my best to bring you a less harsh Winter this year as you requested, but Snow Miser can be a real Scrooge.  Don’t give up hope yet, though!

As you know, I try to read as many of the letters mailed to me at the North Pole as possible.  This one had my belly shaking like a bowl full of jelly, and I think you should use it on your blog.  Ho, ho, ho!

Let me know what you think. 

Merry Christmas!

Santa

Santa LettersThis is the actual letter that Santa Claus received from a curious lad “somewhere in the United States”.  I assure you that I have not changed a word…

Dear Santa Claus,

I’ve already mailed you my Christmas list, but there was something else on my mind, so I am writing you a second letter.  I didn’t think you’d mind as Grandpa is always saying that everyone loves to get mail.

I think this letter might get you mad, so I’m not gonna tell you my name.  I’m just a curious boy from somewhere in the United States, okay?

I really love Christmas.  A lot.  Not just the presents on Christmas morning, though.  I love the whole Christmas Season.  Decorating, singing Christmas Carols, watching Christmas Specials on TV, going shopping, drinking eggnog, decorating the tree, helping my Dad put up the lights on the house, driving around to look at all the Christmas lights in our neighborhood, eating Christmas treats (especially Grandma’s brownies), and just seeing how merry and nice everyone is this time of year.

So I wanted to ask, why are you so lazy?  Why will you only work one day all year?  If you worked more, couldn’t we have Christmas all year?

Think about how happy the whole world would be, Santa!  There wouldn’t be war or murder or any bad things.  People would just be too happy and too busy putting up the tree and the decorations.  And going shopping or visiting relatives.

Grandpa says some people have better work ethics than others, and those are the people who get ahead in the world.  I’m thinking you’re someone who doesn’t have a good work ethic, Santa, if you only work one day a year!

Do you think it’s possible that you could work more days so we can have more Christmas?  Or maybe retire and let a new younger, harder working Santa be in charge?  Do you have a son who could take over the family business?

I hope you understand why I had to ask.  I know you work hard, but it just seems like you could work a little harder.

Thank you, Santa.

Santa Reindeer I think that is hilarious!  He really set up Santa by making it clear that this wasn’t about the gifts, but rather, about seeing the world happy and at peace.

Slipping in that line from his Grandfather about work ethic?  Priceless!

And then not signing the letter?  Smart move.  This young man has a bright future ahead of him.  Perhaps a future where Christmas goes on for days or even months.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this letter.  Are you in agreement with the writer?  Do you think Christmas should last longer than a day?  Do you think Santa is a slacker with a poor work ethic?

Christmas treePlease leave your Deep Thoughts under my tree.  I can’t wait to unwrap them and read every last one!  Happy Holidays!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Could We Have Christmas All Year If Santa Wasn’t Lazy?

  1. markbialczak says:

    Precious, Austin. The kid has a future in public relations, I think. 🙂

  2. Mindy says:

    Someone had to ask!

  3. Ritu says:

    What a great letter p! Very diplomatically put!

  4. The Cutter says:

    I think that kid needs a good slap for being unappreciative

  5. donedreaming says:

    The problem is we can’t keep up the jolliness for longer than 24 hours. Bit like working at DisneyWorld – the smile turns to a grimace the longer it goes on. Better to have a fun filled buildup to one wonderful day .. the letter was fab though 🙂

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