What If The 3 Wise Men Were Jedi Knights?

3 wise menI really love this time of year, Modern Philosophers, when we are counting down the days until that magical December moment we’ve been looking forward to for months finally arrives.

Of course, I’m talking about the premiere of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Since Christmas also happens to be this month, I searched my Deep Thoughts, and realized that there might be a connection between the Greatest Story Ever Told and the Birth of Jesus.

What if the Three Wise Men were actually Jedi Knights?

Of course we come bearing gifts, Baby Jesus!

Of course we come bearing gifts!

Not only does that concept totally blow my mind, but it also makes Christmas even cooler than it already was.

It totally makes sense, though, right?  Baby Jesus was a really big deal.  Perhaps there was an Awakening in The Force with His birth, and three Jedi Knights set out to check on the future King of Kings at the behest of the Jedi Council.

Even if they didn’t think Baby Jesus was a Jedi, they’d want to make sure He didn’t fall into the hands of the Empire.

If Jesus ever turned to the Dark Side, what would stop The Nuns from ruling the world?  Oh, sweet Baby Jesus, does this mean The Nuns are Earth’s version of The Sith?

We three kings of Coruscant are...

We three kings of Coruscant are…

Of course, the Three Wise Men, who might have been Three Jedi Knights, would probably have been living, breathing Jedi, rather than Ghost versions.  However, you don’t get much wiser than the Three Ghosts of Christmas Past in the above photo, am I right?

The Jedi would’ve arrived bearing gifts.  Even though The Bible said those offerings were gold, frankincense, and myrrh, the Four Evangelists (one who just so happened to be named Luke…) might have changed things to keep the presence of the Jedi a secret.

My educated guess is that the Three Wise Jedi would have brought gifts of a Jedi Robe, the droids Jesus would one day be looking for, and a lightsaber.

Search your feelings, Modern Philosophers.  It all makes sense now, doesn’t it?

And they crossed the desert following a star...

And they crossed the desert following a star…

According to the story of The Nativity, the Three Wise Men traveled across the desert following a star.

What if that wasn’t a star at all?  What if it was a space station capable of destroying planets?  A Death Star perhaps?

And doesn’t the whole idea of traveling across a desert evoke images of a certain planet that played a major part in another story from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away?

What's myrrh anyway?

What’s myrrh anyway?

The more I sit here writing this post as The Force influences my Deep Thoughts, the more I believe that I am totally on to something, Modern Philosophers.

Could Jedi Knights have been at The First Christmas?  Did Baby Jesus receive a visit from The Jedi Council?

Clearly, these Three Wise Men were not any of the Jedi we know from the Star Wars films, but do we know for sure that Jedi Knights didn’t roam the Earth a long time ago?

How do we know for sure that the three visitors who followed the star to Jesus’ manger weren’t Jedi?

Search your feelings again, Modern Philosophers.  Jedi Knights at the first Christmas, a possibility it is.

I feel an awakening right now...

I feel an awakening right now…

I suppose it would be pushing it to say that Daisy Ridley’s Rey was also at Baby Jesus’ manger, but she would make a perfect Mary.

I’m just saying…

I’m not ready to give up on this theory just yet, Modern Philosophers.  Any Star Wars fan will tell you that Baby Jesus grew up to not only look like a stereotypical Jedi Knight…

Jedi Jesus?

Jedi Jesus?

…but He also had powers that would make one think of a Jedi Knight.

Would it really be so out there to think that Three Jedi Knights visited Him upon His birth, and perhaps shared a little Jedi wisdom with Him?

And now that I think about it, isn’t it entirely possible that at least some of the Twelve Apostles were Jedi Knights as well?

Judas turned to The Dark Side and betrayed Jesus to the Romans, the big, bad Empire ruling the world at the time.  It all makes sense now.  Why didn’t I think of this when I was in Catholic School and could ask The Nuns all about it?

Obviously, The Force wasn’t strong with me at that point.

For unto us, a child is born, who will save us all from the mighty grasp of The Empire!

For unto us, a child is born, who will save us from the grasp of The Empire!

What do you think about my Jedi at The Nativity theory?  Do you think Jesus was a Jedi?  At the very least, do you think George Lucas might have been inspired by the story of The First Christmas when he wrote Star Wars?

Star Wars: The Force Awakens opens in theaters one week before Christmas.  Coincidence it is not, my Deep Thoughts say!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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22 Responses to What If The 3 Wise Men Were Jedi Knights?

  1. Hmm…thought provoking it is. :O)

  2. nolanwrites says:

    Haha! I love this! You never fail to make me laugh! 😀

  3. grannyK says:

    You just might be onto something here. :\

  4. Jedi Jesus..perhaps a t-shirt is in order?

  5. donedreaming says:

    At the risk of being blasphemous – I’ve only seen the original 3 movies, thought they were fabulous. Took my brother with me who was very young at the time and I sobbed at the end of The Empire Strikes Back when they froze Han Solo. I think you are definitely on to something though with your revelation ..

  6. Joanne says:

    This is brilliant, Austin! Why, as you say, had I never made the connection at Catholic school?! It’s so obvious! 😀 The whole ‘Big bad Roman Empire’ had me laughing out loud! In fact oddly enough today our year 4 children at school (aged 8/9) did a huge play about the Romans which they’d been studying as an end of topic celebration and one of them told me he was playing Darth Vader in it. He had his toy lightsaber with him. I was totally confused as it seems history has changed since I was at school, but no. Now having read your post, the presence of Darth Vader in the 1st century BC makes perfect sense!
    I wish to God, Disney had made this the new Star Wars film. Maybe they have! Maybe all the trailers are just to throw us off track and then they’re going to show us the Austin version. I LOve this. Got to be one of my favourite ever posts of yours! Bravo!

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