How My Girlfriend Used The Jedi Mind Trick On Me From Switzerland

SwissMy Sweet Irish Girlfriend claims to have never seen any of the Star Wars films, Modern Philosophers.

I tell her all the time that she is lucky she is so pretty, which allows me to overlook this otherwise fatal flaw.

However, I’m beginning to think that she is not only a fan of the movies, but also well versed in the ways of the Jedi.

I’m fairly certain that she used the Jedi Mind Trick on me this morning.

While that fact alone is incredibly impressive (and a major turn on for an admitted Star Wars geek), what really blows my mind is that she did it while sitting in a chalet in the Swiss Alps.

I know, right?  She is TOTALLY a keeper!

Jedi mind trickIf I have to explain the Jedi Mind Trick to you, Modern Philosophers, I very well might need to strip you of your toga and toss you into the Sarlacc Pit.

I woke up to find a good morning text in which The Sweet Irish Girl wished me well on my 4 mile run.  She is very supportive of my running, and I like that she is impressed with my efforts to get into the best shape possible for her, a woman who is far out of my league.

Despite it being December 12, I found myself stripping off my cold weather gear over the course of my run.  It’s not supposed to be warm in Maine once the Christmas decorations go up, so my body was not prepared for the temperature to be higher than my age.

Truth be told I was feeling a little wimpy, and wanted to turn around at the 1.5 mile mark so I could get home and shower all the sweat off me.

That’s when I heard it.

A sweet, Irish brogue in my head.

“Enjoy your 4 mile run, babe.”

I wiped away the sweat, which from pouring down my face, and prepared to head back towards The House on the Hill as I neared the 1.5 mile mark.

“Enjoy your 4 mile run, babe.”

Damn!  I hadn’t imagined it.  My girlfriend’s voice was in my head, repeating that one line from her text over and over in that irresistible Irish accent.

“Enjoy your 4 mile run, babe.”

Nuts.  I searched my feelings, and there was no way I could turn around now and only do 3 miles.  I had to put in the entire 4, even though that had never been my intention.

I woke up planning to run 3 miles because I was sore, tired, had a long week, and quite frankly, just felt like being lazy.

“Enjoy your 4…”  Okay, okay, I get it already!

Jedi daisy




jedi leiajedi natalieOf course, My Sweet Irish Girlfriend fits the mold of the knockout beauties in the Star Wars Galaxy, but we don’t associate those women with the Jedi Mind Trick.

Sexist or not, Star Wars has led us to believe that only the males use this power.

Perhaps this will change with Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but for now, I associate the Jedi Mind Trick with Obi-Wan or Luke.

It’s just always been something someone who uses the men’s room at the Mos Eisley Cantina would employ.

After pushing myself to run 4 miles on an unseasonably warm December day, however, I’m beginning to think that there is more equality among the Jedi than we realized.

heros 3The Sweet Irish Girl has exhibited Jedi traits previous to this, Modern Philosophers.

She is a figure bathed in mystery, who never reveals her true identity, and has somehow managed to breach my security system to access the Death Star that is my heart.

She has the power to get inside my head, she clearly has control of The Force as exhibited by her ability to make a cranky recluse feel happy and outgoing, and she showed off some amazing skills with a lightsaber that have forever left an impression on me.

jedi dark sideI’m completely fine with my girlfriend using her Jedi powers on me, just so long as she never turns to the Dark Side.

She is so beautiful, and I’d hate for her to have to hide her face behind a mask like Darth Vader, or for it to become all withered with hatred and evil like the Emperor’s.

If you give it some Deep Thought, isn’t love the non-Jedi’s version of their Mind Trick?  Love influences the way we act, it makes us do crazy things, and it brings out a side of us that we might have never even known existed.

Jedi runSomething’s making me smile all the time now, Modern Philosophers.  It might be love or it could be the Jedi Mind Trick.

All I know is that the person wielding this power over me now owns my heart, and it’s never been in better hands.

The Force is strong with me for I am a man in love…

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Dating, Fitness, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to How My Girlfriend Used The Jedi Mind Trick On Me From Switzerland

  1. ksbeth says:

    may the force be with you both.

  2. markbialczak says:

    Have fun doing the dishes. Have a good time cleaning the bathroom. Have a ball dusting the furniture. The Jedi notes that you’re going to find around the house in the future, Austin!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s