Never Reject Christmas Cookies

Taping 13It’s Sunday, Modern Philosophers, and before I get any further into this post, let me assure you that I truly believe in the title.

I would never reject Christmas cookies, so should any of you want to send some to The House on the Hill, please let me know.  Blog interns are standing by to give out the address and to await deliveries.

A new episode of The Nite Show With Danny Cashman aired last night, and it was the one where R2-D2 stopped by to promote Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

I’ve searched my feelings and decided that I want to share some of my rejected monologue jokes with you.  I feel the Force is strong with them, even if Danny did not.

Please give a warm Modern Philosopher welcome to the Sunday Rejects…

Lewiston finally elected a new Mayor on Tuesday.  My sources tell me that Governor LePage has been secretly rooting for Bruce MacDonald because he believes that if MacDonald wins, he’ll get free Big Macs for the rest of his term…

New census data reveals that Maine is getting older.  Of course, the fact that Governor LePage is still in office proves that it is not getting any wiser…

Taping 12Tonight is the seventh night of Hanukkah, which means if you’re anything like me, the next time you hear that Adam Sandler song, you’re going to rip the radio out of your dashboard and hurl it out onto the highway…

Tonight is the seventh night of Hanukkah which means you’ve probably misspelled “Hanukkah” at least seven different ways in your Happy Hanukkah posts and tweets…

After a 10-0 start, the Patriots have lost two games in a row.  Head Coach Bill Belichick is so angry that he’s eaten the sleeves off of all his formal hoodies…

Ratings for The Wiz Live on NBC were so good that the network has announced its next live musical will be an adaptation of Winnie the Pooh…

The next Republican Presidential Debate is scheduled for Tuesday, and Donald Trump has said that he will not participate unless CNN pays him five million dollars.  In related news, it looks like we might finally discover who the other Republican candidates are on Tuesday night…

Kim Kardashian had her baby three weeks early.  Because of the premature birth, the newborn’s rear end is only the size of an average infant’s.  As a result the family has asked that he be kept in the NICU until his backside is up to Kardashian standards…

Taping 17On this date in history in 1957, Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13 year old cousin while still married to his first wife.  Questionable choices like this go a long way towards explaining why poor Jerry Lee always had a whole lot of shaking going on…

What did you think of this batch of Sunday Rejects, Modern Philosophers?  I always look forward to your comments about my jokes that don’t make it onto the air, so please leave something for me to read under the tree in the comments section.  Doing so will definitely put you on my Nice list.

The Nite Show airs on Saturday nights in Maine.  If you can’t catch the telecast, you can still support the show my liking its Facebook page, checking out clips on its YouTube channel, or by following it on Twitter @TheNiteShowME.

Happy Holidays!  Don’t forget to send those Christmas cookies!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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9 Responses to Never Reject Christmas Cookies

  1. OneDizzyBee says:

    You should never accept cookies from strangers (did your mother never tell you this?) but I do have a few great cookie recipes!

  2. Got a kick out of Maine getting older, but not wiser with Governor LePage at the helm, and the two Hanukkah ones. However, the Republican debate one was a real gem. 😀

  3. The Cutter says:

    I’d be pumped if they really did Winnie the Pooh

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