Eat, Drink, Be Merry…And Then Eat Again!

Potluck 1Christmas is almost here, Modern Philosophers!

I can tell, not from how filled my heart is with the Christmas Spirit, but rather, by how full my stomach is of Christmas food!

Today was Ugly Christmas Sweater Potluck Day at work.  As I joked on Twitter, I’ve never cooked an ugly sweater before, so I have no idea how my contribution for the potluck is going to taste.

Yes, Modern Philosophers, I am hilarious!

And so, the seasonal fattening of the Modern Philosopher has begun.  I didn’t run last week because I was sick, and this week, I broke my toe when I slammed it on the living room table because I’m King Klutz (no, he was not one of the Three Wise Men!).

I’m sure I will get back out on the road this weekend when my toe is less disturbing to look at and doesn’t hurt every time I put weight on it.

In the meantime, I decided I might as well take advantage of all the delicious food piling up around the office.  I wouldn’t want to be accused of being a Grinch simply because I didn’t participate in the potluck!

The Grinchy Philosopher

The Grinchy Philosopher

So here is a photographic tour of the office party.  Hope you’re not reading this on an empty stomach because you might want to eat everything in sight once you’re done.

Potluck 2There was food everywhere.  This picture doesn’t even include the boxes of donuts that had been on the counter, but were devoured well before lunchtime.

Potluck 3There’s always this worry that there isn’t going to be enough food, and there are factions within the office that insist that lists must be made so that we know what’s being brought.

My Deep Thoughts on that are that it’s called a “potluck” because you’re not supposed to know what you’re going to get.  You just show up with your item and an empty stomach and go from there.

Too much organization and planning takes all the fun out of it.  It’s Christmas.  Everyone just relax and eat!  That’s what Santa and Baby Jesus want you to do…

Potluck 4My coworkers own a lot of crock pots.  I own one, too, but I never use it.  I’m not sure I know how it works.  I’m a hopeless guy living alone.

The Sweet Irish Girl better move here soon before I starve to death!

Potluck 5Don’t worry, Modern Philosophers, there were plates and utensils.  We did not eat with our hands, despite ogling the food like we hadn’t eaten for weeks.

Okay, I’ve been away for an hour talking to the Sweet Drunk Irish Girl, so let me try to pick up my train of thought.  Have I ever mentioned how adorable my girlfriend is when she’s had a little too much to drink?

Potluck 6There were desserts, too.

Goodness, were there desserts.  Cookies, brownies, fudge, cake, cupcakes, pumpkin squares.  Enough sugar to give the entire office a sugar coma for the afternoon.

Yes, I spent the afternoon picking at the desserts.

No, I am not at all embarrassed by that fact.

Potluck 18This was the plate and bowl I brought back to my desk.

When I texted that photo to Ireland, My Sweet Irish Girlfriend’s first comment was that there weren’t enough potatoes on my plate.

Okay, she might not have said that, but I know she was thinking it.

Have no fear, Modern Philosophers, I did not eat all of that.  I just took a little bit of everything that made my tummy rumble because I knew there might not be any food left if I decided to go up for seconds.

Food disappears faster than a rabbit in a magician’s hat during our potlucks!

Potluck 17And the Holidays aren’t all about eating at the office.

Here is a photo of some of the items we’ve collected for the homeless shelter.  There were also an incredibly generous number of presents donated for needy local families.

Christmas is really about giving at my office.  I work with some wonderful people.

Potluck 7This is the snowman that earned its creators First Prize in the Office Decorating Contest.

Can you make out what was used in the place of snow, Modern Philosophers?

Potluck 8As this close up reveals, the snowman was made of Styrofoam cups.  Because he was made of those items, which aren’t at all biodegradable, the snowman will live forever!

Potluck 11Potluck 12Potluck 13Here’s a sampling of the Christmas Trees in the office.  My coworkers did a really great job of decorating the place.

I’m sure it was difficult to pick a winner, but the snowman was pretty awesome.

Potluck 10This was my lame decorating effort.  It’s better than nothing.

Now get back to work, you decorating slackers!!!

Potluck 15This is how Jane decorated the wall behind which she hides all day.  One would think that someone who chooses to be cut off from the world would be something of a Scrooge.

However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.  Jane is funny and feisty.

And her wall needs to trim it eyebrows!

Potluck 9Finally, this is my gift from my boss.  It’s filled with Christmas candy, and looks like it could be converted into a candle if I so desired.

It was very generous of her to make these for everyone.

Now that I’m home, I’m jolly, I’m merry, and I won’t need to eat again until Christmas Eve when we’re having a little breakfast at work.

Hope you enjoyed your tour of our potluck.  Happy Holidays!

What do you do around the office to celebrate the Holidays?  Are you a great decorator, or a lame one like I am?  Can you believe all the food I managed to fit on my plate?

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Christmas, Holidays, Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Eat, Drink, Be Merry…And Then Eat Again!

  1. Gail Kaufman says:

    When I worked in an office, trying not to overeat was a daily struggle, and I’m not just talking about holidays. There was Bagel Friday, Pizza Meetings, Birthday cakes and donuts, and on and on. We used to joke that management was trying to pump us with sugar so we’d work like energizer bunnies. If that was the plan, it backfired. After all that food, it was nap time.

  2. donedreaming says:

    Dear God, what was on that plate? Looks like congealed lard. Was there anything not heart attack inducing??!!

  3. The Cutter says:

    It’s Christmas! God wants us to get fat!

  4. susielindau says:

    That looks amazing! Love the snowman. Fun with paper cups!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s