Screw The Snow, Let’s Make Chili!

Screw the snowFeed a cold.  Starve a fever.

Everyone knows the suggested medical treatment of the above mentioned conditions, Modern Philosophers.

I’m going to be a trailblazer and add a new one to the list.

Tell a blizzard to chili the hell out.

That’s right, Modern Philosophers, I got a little blue and engaged in witty wordplay.

That’s how you know you’re on the right blog!

Since this is mid-January in Maine, there’s yet another blizzard having its way with the world outside The House on the Hill.

Snow has a tendency to push my stress levels into the red zone and set off my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.  However, I’ve been working very hard to remain delightful when the weather outside is frightful.

It’s the weekend, I don’t have to drive in it, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it, so I’ve decided to just ignore it.

The snow will still be there tomorrow, and I can shovel it before the football game.  Today, though, I’m putting on my chef’s hat and heading for the kitchen.

CookingIt’s time for Cooking With The Modern Philosopher!

I knew that today would be perfect for making another batch of my world famous, totally improvised chili.

The NFL playoffs are on, and a big plate of chili cheese fries sounds like an awesome football snack.

Nothing takes my mind off of the white blanket Snow Miser is dropping on Maine more than some yummy comfort food, and chili is one of the yummiest.

When it comes to chili, I never use the same recipe twice, so I don’t have to worry about anyone stealing it.

Deep Thoughts work in the kitchen, too, Modern Philosophers.

I’ve never been much of a cook, and there’s a reason for that.  Let’s use this snowy afternoon as an excuse to journey back to my childhood.

When I was younger, so much young than today, my stepmother forced my little sister and I to make dinner two nights a week.  Who the hell does that?  We were just kids.  Wasn’t I socially awkward and nerdy enough?  Why did I also have to be the kid who couldn’t hang out because he had to rush home to prepare dinner for the family?

Let's Make ChiliI was a modern day Cinderella before I grew up to be a Modern Philosopher.

It’s not like I knew how to cook.  I’m talking about junior high and high school here.  I should have been figuring out how to talk to girls and make friends, not how to feed a family of four on a budget.

Needless to say, we didn’t eat well during that period.  I remember a lot of franks and beans, pasta dishes, and the most horrific entree of all…fried Spam.

I’m not lying, Modern Philosophers.  Spam was my go to meal.  I’d bread it like a chicken cutlet and throw it into a frying pan to soak up some cooking oil.  That was what passed for dinner in my house.

This is why I can’t even look at Spam.

This is why I really don’t like to cook.

Much like those horrible formative years of slaving over a hot stove, I still have a very limited list of specialties in my repertoire.

Luckily, Improv Chili is one of them.

chili 8The items in this photo may or not not be included in my Top Secret Chili Recipe.

Obviously, I have made sure not to put all of the ingredients in the photo.

I also might have added an item or two just to confuse you and prevent you from ever duplicating my formula.

All I know for certain is that I spent some time this afternoon browning items, marinating others, and chopping and dicing still other things.

Whatever I did, it smells wonderful!

It’s been snowing all afternoon, and not once have I worried about it.  Heck, I even went out onto the porch to take same photos for Melissa because the only thing close to snow they get in Ireland is when drunk Leprechauns climb into the trees and have pillow fights.

I can hear the snow blowers going up and down the street, and the scrape of the snow plow against the blacktop in the parking lot next to The House on the Hill.

None of this bothers or concerns me because I have a pot of chili simmering on the stove, and the football game is about to start.

Would you care for a glimpse of my creation?  chili 10

Looking good, am I right?

The pot of chili has been simmering for four hours, and I intend to keep it on a very low flame for at least another three.

The longer it cooks, the better it tastes.

I wish I could invite you all over to have a bowl, but my driveway isn’t shoveled, so there’s no way you’d ever be able to make it up to The House on the Hill.

Oh well.  More chili for me.

I’ve also been passing the time fiddling with Canva.  What do you guys think of the graphics I’ve created for this post?

Thank you, Melissa, for patiently giving me your feedback and nudging me in the right direction.  You are a Sweet Irish Girl even if you don’t like beans in your chili!

I will leave you with this last thought on a snowy Saturday…

Chilly ChiliDo you have a comfort food that you like to make on snowy days, Modern Philosophers?  What dish do you consider to be your specialty?  Can I get a little sympathy for being forced to slave away in the kitchen making horrible Spam dinners as a teen?

You can follow me on Pinterest.  Join me and we will rule the boards together!

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Screw The Snow, Let’s Make Chili!

  1. Pamela says:

    What a wicked stepmother ! You poor thing . Soup is great on a cold day but my specialty is chicken & dumplings.

  2. donedreaming says:

    Wow, that is one hot looking chilli, just what the doctor ordered on a snowy day! I don’t like beans in my chilli either though. I laughed so hard at the Spam story – did you get The Monty Python show over there? Their Spam sketch is legendary

  3. Amanda Lyle says:

    That chilli looks gooooooood!

    Hmm, comfort food for a snowy day. I suggest stew and dumplings. You just can’t beat it!

    I hope you had fun up on the roof with Gary!

  4. barbtaub says:

    My winter go-to is usually a hearty beef pot pie–beef stew with a splash of Guinness of course, puff pastry crust. But your chili looks soooo good. I think it’s chili in front of the fire for us.

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