Friday Night Think Tank: Getting Dumped

Friday Night Think Tank: Getting Deumped | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherWe made it to another Friday night, Modern Philosophers, and we are now one week closer to Spring.

Before you know it, we will be out on our hover boards enjoying the gorgeous weather as the Sun returns and smiles down upon us again.

Don’t let the title of this post frighten you.  My Sweet Irish Girlfriend hasn’t given me the boot and broken my heart.  We going to be talking about something completely different tonight in the Think Tank.

Hopefully, those of you carpet bombed by Winter Storm Jonas have finally tunneled out from under all the snow to rejoin civilization.  We missed you while you were gone, and I wonder if you will ever again sing “Winter Wonderland” at Christmas.

We didn’t get any snow in Maine last weekend.  It did snow today, though, but it was just enough to be a minor annoyance on the drive home.

Nothing Mainers aren’t used to at the end of January.

Meet me out in the Think Tank, and let’s get the Deep Thoughts flowing!

This Week’s Topic: If you had any say in the weather, would you prefer one humongous blizzard like Winter Storm Jonas that paralyzes your life for a few days, or would you rather have several snowstorms of various sizes dumping snow on you all Winter?

Friday Night Think Tank: Getting Dumped | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherI’m not a fan of Snow Miser or his shenanigans, Modern Philosophers.  Snow has a way of raising my stress levels and is the trigger for my Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.

While we barely got any snow tonight, I still had to clear off the car before I could leave work, and the drive home was slow because the roads were slick.

Of course, I was not at all in full panic mode as I tend to get when driving in a blizzard, but I could do without these little gifts from Snow Miser that make life anything but the Winter Wonderland of Christmas Carols.

So my vote would definitely be to get dumped on all at once.  Bring on the Snowpocalypse.  I have vacation time and a basement bunker for a reason.  I’d make sure The House on the Hill was stocked with supplies, and then wait out the blizzard by writing, catching up with what’s on the DVR, calling Melissa to constantly reassure her that I’m alive, and munching on comfort food.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

Then I’d spend whatever time was necessary to remove the snow from my driveway and the roof, not rushing because I’m not going anywhere until the storm has stopped and the roads have been cleared.

I can handle the snow as long as I don’t have to be out in it, and there’s no way I’d allow myself to be caught outside during a blizzard of Jonas’ proportions.

It’s the smaller storms, the ones that don’t scare officials into shutting down the state hours in advance, that send my stress levels off the charts.  Those are the ones that start after I get to work, and then continue all day long.

Friday Night Think Tank: Getting Dumped | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherThere’s a good chance that the roads won’t be completely clear, and a certainty that the drive home is going to be a white knuckler.

So given the choice, I’d take one life disrupting mega storm that I can hide from inside my home.  The lump sum payment, so to speak, in the Snow Miser Snowball.

It might actually be fun to make it an annual event and turn it into a holiday.  How does All Snows Day sound?  Maybe every city could set off fireworks once the storm is done, signalling the all clear for the residents.

Every school could schedule its Winter Break around the great storm, and kids could have all kinds of fun playing out in the snow for a few days.  Meanwhile, their parents could enjoy a little silence and some day drinking.

This plan is a definite winner, Modern Philosophers!

Where do you stand on the Great Snow Debate?  Hopefully, it’s not in a snow drift because that’s a good way to catch a cold!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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21 Responses to Friday Night Think Tank: Getting Dumped

  1. Josh Wrenn says:

    Here where I live, even a tiny snow paralyzes the city. It is fun. It is also rare. A big snowstorm here was a normal day where I am from. So I guess I would take the “big” snowstorm here that shuts things down that wouldn’t even get a late school start back where I am from.

  2. I must admit, where I live last had snow in 2011 – and that was a one-in-50 year event (my wife built a small snowman on the bonnet of her car!). The city wasn’t set up for it – particularly, nobody had any idea how to drive in the conditions, still less snow chains. A few parts of New Zealand get a lot of snow, further south, where they are better set up for it.

  3. I’ll take Snowpocalypse, please. Anything less than that and my stupid boss expects me to get in my stupid car and drive to stupid work, risking life and limb in the process. My car does not like the snow. It panics upon its tires coming into contact with even a single snowflake, and refuses to stay the course. Then I panic. Whiter knuckles have never been seen after I pry my hands from the steering wheel. Gah. Just thinking about it makes me long for spring.

  4. roweeee says:

    Being the philosopher, I am going to answer your question with a question? Have all you Northern Hemisphere types forgotten that some of us folk are in the middle of a scorchingly hot Summer and ever having snow is like flying to the moon? Like Matthew from New Zealand, if any form of snow hit Sydney, it would bring the place to a grinding halt. We have no idea about walking on ice or snow and the teenage girls wearing short shorts in Winter would be instantly snap frozen.
    Also, with your mega storm, you should also clarify time of day because you don’t want to be snowed in for days at work, instead of at home.
    I got caught out trying to pick my son up from school yesterday when I huge storm hit and sheets of rain fell. It was quite dangerous to drive and of course, I couldn’t just leave him at school. School also becomes problematic in bushfire areas. We had a school evacuated in a bushfire and all sorts of chaos broke wit parents turning up.
    Personally, I’d like to be my dog. He sleeps through all conditions xx Rowena

  5. Glenda says:

    Love snow. That’s why I moved to a place that gets it occasionally. I don’t want the Snowpacolypse because I want a little snow, a little snow there. Well, that’s how it works in my neck of the woods!

  6. ksbeth says:

    i love the drama of the massive storm, love to be snowed in

  7. drishism says:

    I would like to be snowed in. that would give me one more excuse to drink coffee and write science fiction novels 🙂

  8. April Munday says:

    I live on the south coast of England. We do get snow, about once in every five years. When we get snow everything stops, even if it’s only an inch or two. No one knows how to drive in snow and the motorways grind to a halt. We really don’t like snow here, so either of your propositions would really mean the end of everything.

    • Austin says:

      So if I want to take over England, I’ll simply have Snow Miser hit you with a blizzard and then march in unopposed. Got it. 🙂

      • April Munday says:

        Sadly, yes. Although we did manage rather well in 1963 when it snowed on 70 consecutive days and it didn’t melt until April. That was a long time ago, though. We’re not as hardy as we used to be.

  9. markbialczak says:

    Yes, Austin, the worst are the ones that you have to fret about driving in for hours beforehand while you watch it pile up slowly and hear the reports of icing and blowing on TV or from others arriving from their journey.

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