I Caught The Tax Man Checking Out My Assets

I Caught The Tax Man Checking Out My Assets | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherHappy Writer’s Day, Modern Philosophers!

As you know, Writer’s Day is the holiday I created to celebrate the fact that I am a writer, that I work very hard at my craft, and that being a writer is awesome!

Writer’s Day always falls on the day after a taping of The Nite Show, and I am still basking in the glow of last night’s events at The Gracie Theatre.  Have you read my post about what happened with Congressman Poliquin?

If you haven’t, you can click on this link and read it now: https://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com/2016/02/17/the-nite-show-i-apologized-to-a-congressman/.

Even though I wanted to spend the day relaxing and writing at The House on the Hill, President Obama and his team of IRS Tax Goons made it necessary for me to waste part of my holiday filing my income taxes.

I tried to explain the whole income tax thing to Melissa, who found it very confusing.  Apparently, it’s a much simpler process in Ireland.  I had no idea that all Leprechauns were CPAs, but it makes sense given how they have to keep track of their pots o’ gold.

According to Melissa, a Leprechaun visits your bank account some night during tax season, takes out the money you owe the government, and leaves behind coin shaped chocolates covered in gold foil.

Just another reason I might be moving to Ireland someday.

Back in Maine, where the state’s only Leprechaun knows nothing about taxes and is currently sleeping off another bender in my bathtub, I had to trudge over to the Bangor Public Library to have my taxes done.

I Caught The Tax Man Checking Out My Assets | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherThe Luck of the Irish was at least with me in spirit, Modern Philosophers.

The wonderful people at AARP offer a free tax filing service at the library every year.  You don’t even need to be an AARP member or old enough for membership in the group to take advantage of the deal.

For the last few years, I’ve crossed the bridge and hung out in the fancy library until some kind volunteer fetches me and my tax documents.

Would it surprise you to know that doing my taxes makes me nervous?

I hate the fact that I never know if I’m going to get a refund or have to make a payment.  The system is too random, and I feel like Bernie Sanders should rant here about the one percent, and how those folks should be paying more taxes so I don’t have to pay any.

I know the IRS loves to squeeze every last penny out of the working class, but you shouldn’t shakedown a struggling writer for even more money when he’s just trying to scrape together enough loose change to buy a Writer’s Day cake!

Get your eyes off my assets, Tax Man!

I Caught The Tax Man Checking Out My Assets | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherThankfully, the numbers worked in my favor this year.

The sweet man from AARP informed me that I provided the government with an interest free loan this year, and I should expect it refunded to me in about three weeks.

You’re welcome, Obama!  Anything else you want from me before you clear out of the White House?

Getting a refund lifted my spirits, so the remainder of my Writer’s Day was quite joyful.  I wrote a long article that I submitted to The Good Men Project, and I told Melissa all about last night’s adventure with the Congressman.

I’d like to give a shout out to AARP and The Bangor Public Library for hooking me up with free tax filing services.  The only thing that would have made it better was if they had given me a piece of hard candy to celebrate once my taxes were filed.

Maybe next year.  A Modern Philosopher can dream!

You know what’s not taxing?  Following me on Pinterest.  Do it before the April 15 tax deadline, and following me is absolutely free!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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7 Responses to I Caught The Tax Man Checking Out My Assets

  1. patricemfoster says:

    I guess I’d better get out there and work on my taxes. ” Getting a refund lift my spirit” … the luck of Irishman was on your side. Lol!

  2. The Cutter says:

    One time I tried to explain the IRS to my daughter. “Are they crooks?” “Well, kind of!”

  3. Glenda says:

    I’m so glad for my fave blogger that you got a refund! Our local chapter of AARP has neglected us and we have no freebie tax prep. In fact, I do the taxes, and I’ve always had the willies that all these years I’ve been doing it wrong, especially as refunds are far and few between!

    • Austin says:

      I am so thrilled that those folks come here every year and take care of the filing for me. The only year I did it myself, I ended up owing money. UGH!

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