As Bernie Sanders digests his narrow loss to Hillary Clinton in Nevada, the rumpled Democratic Presidential contender must also look ahead to next weekend’s South Carolina Primary, Modern Philosophers.
Will South Carolina be a repeat of Nevada, and see Sanders falling further behind Clinton in the race to be the Democratic nominee on Election Day?
Or will it be another resounding victory for the Vermont Senator, like the New Hampshire Primary?
Only time will tell because it’s not like Sanders can travel ahead in time and find out the answer now.
Or can he?
Rumors abound that Bernie Sanders and my good friend Doc Brown are one and the same. While that seems highly unlikely, Modern Philosophers, I must admit that I’ve never seen Doc and Bernie in the same room at the same time.
Doc is this blog’s largest financial supporter, a good friend, and my personal hero. If he were running for President, wouldn’t he let me know?
Or do I already know? Am I keeping Doc’s secret like a good friend should? Has he asked me to write this blog post to help alter history and push him past Clinton in the polls?
What do your Deep Thoughts tell you, Modern Philosophers?
He is currently locked in a tight battle with the former Secretary of State and failed e-mail wiz, and history shows that such races are usually won by the candidate with the larger bankroll.
As sad as that is, money is needed to run a campaign. While Hillary is well off, Bernie has been waging a war against personal wealth for decades, as evidenced by the fact that he cuts his own hair and purchases his clothing at garage sales and thrift stores.
My history altering suggestion is this: It’s time for Bernie to sell the rights to the Flux Capacitor to some huge corporation.
Not only will American voters love the man for giving them the gift of Time Travel, but he will also be a billionaire many times over as a result of the sale.
The one thing we’ve learned about voters so far in this campaign is that, for some unexplained reason, they really want a billionaire to run this country.
Now they can have their wish while also putting someone with political experience, common sense, and much fewer anger issues into the Oval Office.
Of course, if Sanders decides to go along with this plan, he will no longer be able to brag about how his campaign survives on an average donation of $7.36. Nor will he be able to rail about the top one percent having all the money because he will be the richest man in the world.
This Modern Philosopher certainly hopes that he decides to put the Flux Capacitor on the free market. That’s how you make American great again and again and again…by using Time Travel to fix past problems.
If Bernie Sanders becomes the next President of the United State, I look forward to the Inaugural Ball having an Enchantment Under the Sea theme!
Do you believe that Bernie Sanders and Doc Brown are the same person? Should Bernie sell the Flux Capacitor to finance his campaign and win over the hearts, minds, and time traveling dreams of the American voters? Do you “Feel the Bern”?
You don’t need a Flux Capacitor to travel over to Pinterest to follow me…