Should Bernie Trade The Flux Capacitor For The Presidency?

Should Bernie Trade The Flux Capacitor For The Presidency? | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherAs Bernie Sanders digests his narrow loss to Hillary Clinton in Nevada, the rumpled Democratic Presidential contender must also look ahead to next weekend’s South Carolina Primary, Modern Philosophers.

Will South Carolina be a repeat of Nevada, and see Sanders falling further behind Clinton in the race to be the Democratic nominee on Election Day?

Or will it be another resounding victory for the Vermont Senator, like the New Hampshire Primary?

Only time will tell because it’s not like Sanders can travel ahead in time and find out the answer now.

Or can he?

Rumors abound that Bernie Sanders and my good friend Doc Brown are one and the same.  While that seems highly unlikely, Modern Philosophers, I must admit that I’ve never seen Doc and Bernie in the same room at the same time.

Doc is this blog’s largest financial supporter, a good friend, and my personal hero.  If he were running for President, wouldn’t he let me know?

Or do I already know?  Am I keeping Doc’s secret like a good friend should?  Has he asked me to write this blog post to help alter history and push him past Clinton in the polls?

What do your Deep Thoughts tell you, Modern Philosophers?

Should Bernie Trade The Flux Capacitor For The Presidency? | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherLet’s assume, for the sake of this article, that Bernie Sanders and Doc Brown are the same person.

He is currently locked in a tight battle with the former Secretary of State and failed e-mail wiz, and history shows that such races are usually won by the candidate with the larger bankroll.

As sad as that is, money is needed to run a campaign.  While Hillary is well off, Bernie has been waging a war against personal wealth for decades, as evidenced by the fact that he cuts his own hair and purchases his clothing at garage sales and thrift stores.

My history altering suggestion is this: It’s time for Bernie to sell the rights to the Flux Capacitor to some huge corporation.

Not only will American voters love the man for giving them the gift of Time Travel, but he will also be a billionaire many times over as a result of the sale.

The one thing we’ve learned about voters so far in this campaign is that, for some unexplained reason, they really want a billionaire to run this country.

Now they can have their wish while also putting someone with political experience, common sense, and much fewer anger issues into the Oval Office.

Of course, if Sanders decides to go along with this plan, he will no longer be able to brag about how his campaign survives on an average donation of $7.36.  Nor will he be able to rail about the top one percent having all the money because he will be the richest man in the world.

Should Bernie Trade The Flux Capacitor For The Presidency? | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherTough decisions like this will be an everyday occurrence for the Leader of the Free World, so Bernie has a chance right here and now to prove to voters that he is ready to move into the White House.

This Modern Philosopher certainly hopes that he decides to put the Flux Capacitor on the free market.  That’s how you make American great again and again and again…by using Time Travel to fix past problems.

If Bernie Sanders becomes the next President of the United State, I look forward to the Inaugural Ball having an Enchantment Under the Sea theme!

Do you believe that Bernie Sanders and Doc Brown are the same person?  Should Bernie sell the Flux Capacitor to finance his campaign and win over the hearts, minds, and time traveling dreams of the American voters? Do you “Feel the Bern”?

You don’t need a Flux Capacitor to travel over to Pinterest to follow me…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy, Politics and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Should Bernie Trade The Flux Capacitor For The Presidency?

  1. No I don’t believe they are one in the same. And if they were, I also believe he would never sell the Flux Capacitor. Because my Modern Philosopher friend, Bernie is not Biff. He will never sell out ! And Yes, I do Feel the Bern, and only wish Hillary would start feeling the Bern.

    One other thing. I must admit that I have seen Doc and Bernie in the same room at the same time. It was “Back to The Future Day” this past year on October 21st. Where Doc was overheard asking Bernie:
    “Tell me, future boy, who’s President of the United States in 2017?”
    “Bernie Sanders?! From Vermont?”

    See the photo here for further proof: http://time.com/4082450/see-bernie-sanders-meet-doc-brown-on-back-to-the-future-day/
    Shine On

  2. Answers to your questions in the order posed in your last graph: Yes, yes, and most decidedly NO. #ImWithHer 😀

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