Washington’s Ghost: I Cannot Lie, Trump Must Go!

Washington's Ghost: I Cannot Life, Trump Must Go! | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherGeorge Washington’s Ghost paid a visit to The House on the Hill tonight, Modern Philosophers, to join me in celebrating his birthday.

I’m extremely grateful that when the Father of our Country comes by for his annual birthday visits, he does so in the form of a Ghost, rather than as a Zombie.

I just don’t think I’d have the heart to drive a stiletto, my Zombie dispatching weapon of choice, through the brain of one of our most beloved Founding Fathers.

As always, I served ice cream cake to mark the occasion.

Even though Ghost George cannot eat, he finds great humor in my eating a cake made of ice cream to honor his birthday.

“Cake made of ice cream!” he marveled.  “It never ceases to amaze me the wonders that have come from this country, which was once just a struggling band of colonies trying to break free of tyranny.  Cakes of ice cream indeed!”

While I always try to keep the conversation light and focused on simpler things like baseball (Washington is a huge fan of the Senators, and would like nothing more than to see my Yankees face off against his favorite team in the World Series), something clearly weighed on our First President’s mind tonight.

Washington's Ghost: I Cannot Life, Trump Must Go! | The Return of the Modern Philosopher“I am deeply disturbed by the outcome of your Presidential primaries, most especially on the Republican side,” he informed me with a heavy sigh.  “On more than one instance, my remains have turned over in their grave.  What is the fascination with this blowhard Trump?”

“Has it come to a point where money once again can buy power?” he demanded.  “For what else does this buffoon  have to offer the people of this great nation other than gold, hatred, and boastful promises that are impossible for him to keep?  How can it be that this man and I might be forever linked in America’s history?  I as the First President, and this hate monger as its last!”

I had never thought of Donald Trump as being the Last President of the United States (truth be told, I try not to think of him as the next President of the United States), but Washington’s Ghost got my Deep Thoughts flowing.

If Trump becomes President, the odds of a nuclear war increase exponentially.  Not only is he a hot head, who I don’t doubt would launch nukes to prove that his missile was the hugest, but I’m also sure he would piss off the other leaders of the world so badly that they’d want to wipe America off the map just to silence him once and for all.

And if another country doesn’t turn the United States into a nuclear wasteland that would make the Mad Max films seem like romantic comedies, there’s an excellent chance that this country’s own military would stage a coup to get rid of him.

The Generals would assassinate President Trump, declare martial law, and America would be ruled over by a dictator until another country nuked us straight to Hell.

Washington's Ghost: I Cannot Life, Trump Must Go! | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherI put down my Snapple and dug around in the kitchen until I found a bottle of something much stronger.

“You’ve really opened up my eyes, Ghost Washington,” I had to admit after I allowed the hard stuff to pickle my brain a little and calm the Apocalyptic Deep Thoughts.

“I cannot tell a lie,” The Ghost of our First President reminded me solemnly.  “Trump must go.  He reminds me far too much of King George, and he seems too eager to sit on a throne of hatred and fear.  The revolution must begin now.  Make America great again by rejecting this man who would be king!”

George Washington would be almost 400 years old if he were alive today.  Even at that advanced age, he’d be a far better President than Donald Trump.

Happy Birthday, George Washington!  This nation’s birthday gift to you is a promise to not elect the Last President of the United States in 2016!

Do you like Revolutionary Era Ghost stories served up with ice cream cake and a generous side of anti-Trump rantings?  Then follow me on Pinterest!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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19 Responses to Washington’s Ghost: I Cannot Lie, Trump Must Go!

  1. Dr. Rex says:

    Reblogged this on It Is What It Is and commented:
    I cannot lie either …. I agree with Mr. Washington!!

  2. donedreaming says:

    That was thought provoking! Last President of the USA. He’s like watching a train crashing through a city – what’s the guy got to do before people stop voting for him…

  3. susielindau says:

    I totally agree. Scary or what????

  4. amandagrey1 says:

    It scares me so much to think of him as our next president! I don’t get why people are supporting someone with such terrible values… He would be the end of us for sure. I think I’m moving to Canada!

  5. vosche says:

    Is anyone wondering why Trump’s whole presence in politics looks and sounds like a frat brother/uneducated sports player; standing on stage, in front of other like minded frat brothers shouting useless rhetorical things and ending with a statement equivalent to “Go Vikings!”

    Trump is a 1%-er. Ever since big business can remember it’s method of staying rich is to keep the populous stupid. The news agencies know this and tailor their articles to that fact because they know most readers can’t read beyond the 6 grade level of reading comprehension. Big business owners knowingly and willfully don’t advocate teaching reading comprehension in public schools beyond 6 grade because smart people are bad for their bottom line. Government further helps big business keep its financial status by not advocating education to further reading skills in public schools. This is why the No Child Left Behind Program was such a farce. Now you have kids not graduating on time or at a reading level needed to really function in society and barely passing college level Math and English classes at the minimum level. Big business seeks to further secure their financial position by providing timely distractions to consumers in order to draw attention away from other actions that would be unacceptable to their consumers.

    This brings me back to the first and second paragraphs at the top of this post. Trump is only trying to ensure his financial status on the backs of the US citizens. So it’s ironic to see how all of his rhetoric is so nonsensical and one-sided, basically telling voters “Vote for me, so I can keep making money and keep you poor, but “Go Vikings!” All the while telling us to “Make America Great, Again!” (points back to second paragraph) His only experience in anything is knowing how to “buy” his way into whatever it is he needs to accomplish is own personal agenda. He is really out of touch with society’s real problems, unless they impact his bottom line.

    Trump is a reality TV star derived from his own business ventures. That should be a red flag for any voter who thinks his or her votes really makes a difference. He’s not in the business of losing money. If voters think he has their true interests at heart, they should do some research into every little thing he’s done in business dealings and every little word that has spilled out of his mouth before voting for him. Watch every behavior in public light. It becomes clear he does not like women; hates anyone who is not rich and Caucasian, and owns businesses/interests outside the US. Trump is a nightmare waiting to happen to America!

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