So unless Ted Cruz or Marco (Polo!) Rubio can find a way to loosen Trump’s stranglehold on the Republican base, the next major step in this, Our Winter of Political Discontent, will be for The Donald to pick a running mate.
Much like Emperor Palpatine, who also used fear, anger, and powerful mind control to keep the masses in line, Trump has turned to Clones in his quest for power.
Unlike the Emperor, however, Lord Trump will not need a Clone Army to conquer the American people to take control of the government.
Republican voters are, for some insane reason, willingly voting him into the White House without a drop of blood being shed, or any planets (other than Earth) being destroyed.
Darth Trump, having learned from Palpatine’s mistakes, has (unfortunately for us) decided not to groom a powerful disciple of the Dark Side to be his Vice President.
There’s far too much risk involved there, and Trump needs someone he can trust to never betray him or murder him to become President.
America, meet Clone Trump.
Clone Trump is an exact replica of the original, only it has never gone bankrupt, been divorced, or failed at anything.
Clone Trump is loyal only to its creator, and instinctively loathes foreigners, anyone who disagrees with The Donald, and all members of the Bush Family.
“Future President Trump assures you that Clone Trump is the greatest Clone ever created and will run circles around every Vice President in American history,” a Trump spokesperson, who like all Trump employees must refer to his boss as Future President Trump, announced in a news conference earlier today at Trump Tower.
“Clone Trump will make its first public appearance on Super Tuesday, and will join Future President Trump on the campaign trail right up until Election Day!”
Some skeptics believe that Clone Trump is not actually meant to serve as Vice President should Real Trump, Zeus forbid, be elected President. They think that it was actually created for a more nefarious purpose.
“Trump created a Clone Vice President for that inevitable moment, shortly after he’s inaugurated, when he gets impeached,” explained a member of Trump Is A @#$%^&* Piece Of $%^&, an anti-Trump group, who wished to remain anonymous.
“Trump knows that when he gets impeached, his Vice President will take office. At that point, Trump will secretly replace Clone Trump with himself, and go back to being President. It’s a devious plan that only someone as evil and narcissistic as Donald Trump could come up with. The man is an evil @$$%^&*.”
Trump released a reply to the above comment by Trump Is A @#$%^&* Piece Of $%^&, but it was three paragraphs of disgusting curse words, and I cannot reprint it on this family friendly blog.
Trust me, Modern Philosophers, it was angry stuff.
The Democratic response to the idea of Trump’s cloning himself was predictable. Hillary Clinton asked the members of the press what they thought of the story, and then promised to get back to them with an answer once she talked to a few focus groups.
Bernie Sanders, aka Angry Obi-Wan, went on a twenty-five minute rant about how only the top one percent could afford to clone themselves.
As for me, I called my realtor friend in Canada and made an appointment to look at some property this weekend.
What do you think of Trump creating a Clone to serve as his Vice President? Do you believe that Trump is less evil, more evil, or equally as evil as Emperor Palpatine? Are you interested in moving to Canada with me if Trump becomes President?