I hope and pray, Modern Philosophers, that Bernie Sanders was thinking those three words last night as he watched the results of the Michigan Democratic Primary slowly roll in over the course of the evening.
Sanders pulled off a stunning upset in the primary after polls repeatedly showed his opponent, Hillary Clinton, to have a massive lead in the state.
His win was so unexpected that he abandoned his Michigan campaign headquarters before the polls closed.
All night long, CNN cut to the poor reporter they’d assigned to cover things live from the abandoned Sanders base. Every time the camera cut to her, she’d be all alone in a dark, empty room talking about how Bernie’s supporters might have felt had they stuck around to watch and celebrate the results.
Why did Bernie hightail it out of there and not stick around to bask in the glow of his biggest victory of the 2016 Campaign Season?
Because the polls said Hillary was gonna whoop his butt!
All week long, pollsters informed us that Clinton had a huge lead in Michigan, and that her popularity with African American voters would make the primary a cakewalk.
I guess someone forgot to tell the people of Michigan how they were supposed to vote!
I’m guilty of believing the polls, too, Modern Philosophers!
Once I saw how badly Bernie was getting thrashed in Mississippi, I had a very bad feeling about how the night was going to end. Would a second drubbing in Michigan mean the end of the road for our Angry Obi-Wan?
I was glued to the coverage on CNN like I was watching a sporting event, Modern Philosophers.
I kept waiting for the inevitable. The larger numbers on the screen were eventually going to move from next to Sanders’ name over to Clinton’s. Where they belonged.
The pundits kept talking about the polls, and Hillary’s lock on the African American vote, and how Bernie was a big hit with the college kids, but they couldn’t be counted on to come out and actually vote for him.
Nothing was more exciting than when CNN would throw it to Wolf Blitzer and the stiff guy in the suit, who kept making the map of Michigan dance. He’d point to a county and it would jump onto the screen with the current results and what percent of the votes had been counted.
Then Wolf and Mr. Stiff would speculate if there were enough votes left in that county to allow Clinton to take the lead. They’d show us the counties where the colleges were and try to figure out if enough Wolverines and Spartans were voting to give Bernie the win.
It was too much. Such excitement.
I was even willing to put up with the occasional discussion about Trump and the Republican Dunces because that allowed me to get in a bathroom break.
And the smarty pants pollsters had choked almost worse than Hillary.
Who knew that the 2016 Presidential Primaries could be riveting, must see TV?
I can’t wait to watch tonight’s Democratic Debate. Go, Bernie! I’m ready for another cool, twist ending!