Let Easter Viagra Resurrect Your Love Life!

Let Easter Viagra Resurrect Your Love Life! | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherEaster doesn’t just have to be for the kiddos anymore, Modern Philosophers!

This year, if you ask real nice (and your doctor says your heart is safe for sex!) the Easter Bunny might bring something special for those adults looking to rekindle the flame in their relationships.

I’m talking about Easter Viagra.

That magical little blue pill that has saved many a man from the ultimate embarrassment in the bedroom is now available in special Easter colors for the holiday.

Let Easter Viagra resurrect your love life!

“The Easter Bunny thought it was unfair that only children got baskets on Easter Sunday,” an Easter Bunny spokesperson explained.  “He figured it would be fun to come up with something to allow adults to enjoy the holiday as well.  We had a few brainstorming sessions down in the rabbit hole, and out popped Easter Viagra!”

Perhaps “up popped Easter Viagra” would be more appropriate.  Don’t you agree, Modern Philosophers.

According to my sources at Big Pharma, the folks who make Viagra were more than happy to hop on down the Bunny Trail with this plan.

Don't settle for the boring little blue pill when you can have the special multi-colored Viagra for Easter!“They literally got a hard on for the idea,” quipped one pharmaceutical rep with knowledge of the situation.  “The thought boner lasted way longer than four hours!”

It’s difficult not to be amused at the thought of couples screwing like rabbits on the Easter Bunny’s big day.

However, is the sudden introduction of so much Viagra into the bloodstreams of boring, failing relationships a healthy way to go?

“I don’t see how it could be a bad thing,” mused relationship expert Dr. Lily Humperdink.  “Sometimes, all a couple needs is a little spark to remind them of the good old days when wild, unplanned sex in every room of the house was the norm, rather than something you desperately wanted to prevent your teenagers from ever doing!”

With Easter falling at the end of March, the Easter Bunny’s gift of magic, multi-colored love pills could mean for a very busy New Year’s Eve on the maternity wards.

“That’s Baby New Year’s problem,” the Easter Bunny’s spokesperson told me with a wink.  “Don’t worry, we’re going to make sure that the adult Easter Baskets are also well stocked with condoms of many colors.”

Resurrect your love life this Easter, Modern Philosophers!It does sound like it could make for a delightful Easter for everyone, Modern Philosophers.  While the kids are bouncing off the walls on wild sugar highs, their parents can be slamming the headboard against the wall for the first time in ages.

Easter is about the greatest miracle of all, so why can’t it also be about the miracle of saving some relationships that were dying of boredom?

Remember, Modern Philosophers, while Jesus’ Resurrection lasted for forty days, you should consult a doctor if yours lasts for more than four hours…

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About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Love and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Let Easter Viagra Resurrect Your Love Life!

  1. tric says:

    Viagra is made in a tiny village in Ireland, (less than a mile from where I live) When it was first launched it caused a real ‘stir’ in the locality. Whether in jest or not, word went out that it was ‘in the air’. That locals were sleeping with their windows open and couples were ‘more than happy’ to be loving/loving near the factory.
    http://irishecho.com/2011/02/cork-viagra-town-proves-fertile-ground-for-rumor-2/

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