You Can Ride My Bike

You Can Ride My Bike | The Return of the Modern PhilosopherI went to the gym this morning, Modern Philosophers, with every intention of doing an easy half hour on the bike.

It’s not that I didn’t want to bring it, but I’d already run on Tuesday and Thursday, and on Wednesday, I’d done forty minutes on the bike and fifteen more on the treadmill.

This would be my fourth consecutive day of working out and my ancient body was not used to such punishment.  Thirty minutes of easy pedaling sounded like heaven.

As I’ve written on numerous previous occasions, however, things never go as planned at the gym.

I inevitably get into a battle of will with The Machines.  I want to go at a certain pace, but The Machines flash their enticing lights over the speed buttons and mock me for not pushing myself hard enough.

Trust me, I try to fight them, but I always acquiesce.  After four miles, I noticed I working at a 4:20 mile pace and not quite burning ten calories a minute.

Something in my head told me this was unacceptable (thoughts most likely put there by The Machines!), so I pushed the buttons to make myself work harder and faster.

I ended up doing nine miles in just under 35:00 and burning almost 380 calories.  Clearly, I’d picked up the pace substantially and the river of sweat surrounding my bike backed up that theory.

So much for an easy day.

The Modern Philosopher after a workout...All this bike riding reminded me of my days back at NYU.  Not because I rode a bike during my college days, but because I’d written an album to review for a Creative Writing class.

The fake band I created was called White Aardvark, and the album I recorded for my review was named “It’s Time To Eat The Monkey”.

The lead track on that album was “Ride My Bike”, a very naughty song that was totally about sex and not at all about bicycles.

The other night, I sang that song to someone very dear to me.  She laughed while I lamented that YouTube wasn’t around back then to make White Aardvark an internet sensation.

Yet another reason to complete my time machine!

Perhaps all this talk of bike riding inspired this week’s column on The Good Men Project.  In it, I tell the harrowing tale of my stepmother’s demand for excellence, my dogged pursuit of that impossible goal, and the crime that rocked my world and made me long for my home to be burglarized again.

And, yes, it all centers around a bike.  In fact, you get two more bike stories and a little more insight into how I grew up to be the Modern Philosopher.

I would really appreciate it if you would read my column over at GMP and share it on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Pinterest if you feel love spreading the blog love.

Here’s the link:

Thanks.  Happy Friday the 13th!  You guys rock harder than White Aardvark!

About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
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4 Responses to You Can Ride My Bike

  1. Read it, Austin. Hope you’re getting a lot out of the work with your therapist. It can be the most healing thing we do for ourselves.
    I just finished listening to _Mindsight_ by Daniel Seigel. It’s an amazingly well-written book that explains, clearly and compassionately, the neurologic, experiential, and developmental aspects of our patterns of thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and relationships. I found it incredibly helpful for understanding better my own patterns, and for approaching my parenting more mindfully. Maybe you would enjoy it also? Best wishes to you! 😊

  2. Loved your GMP post, it touched me. I left a message over that way. Keep on pedaling!

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