Why I Think You Should Mow My Lawn

You really should mow my lawn. It's the sort of thing friends do...We’re all friends here, right, Modern Philosophers?

That being the case, I really think you should mow my lawn.  I mean, that is the sort of thing friends do for each other and I want us to be best pals.

Let’s face it, you could use the exercise.  You keep talking about how you wish you could find the time to exercise again, and I’m trying to be a buddy here by plotting out a little bit of fitness time for you.

Hell, I will even throw in an ice cold Snapple as payment for a job well done.

So what do you say?  I like the lawn done on Sundays, so why don’t we get a sign up sheet going for the rest of the summer.  Who wants next Sunday?

Thanks in advance.  You guys are the best!

Mowing the lawn? Bah humbug!As you can see by my choice of tee shirt in the blurry photo above, I was not at all enthusiastic about mowing the lawn today.

It’s not like it was that horrific first mow of the year, which I got out of the way last Sunday, but more of a case that today is the last day of my vacation.

I don’t want to give up the quiet, relaxing life at The House on the Hill to head back to the everyday grind as an office minion.  Sure, I popped in for a few hours last week to help out a little, but that glimpse into my future is making me dread my return even more.

We were so far behind, work was piling up, and I’m worried that the awaiting stress levels are going to mess with the moments of Zen I’ve been accumulating ever since I made the choice to lead a more positive life.

Don’t you get it now, Modern Philosophers?  This is why I need you to mow my lawn.

Be a pal.  Mow the lawn...This vacation has been good for me in so many ways.  I had definitely gotten to a point where my desire to be positive and happy almost demanded that I reward myself for all my hard work.

My time off has been exactly what I needed.  Not only did I recharge my batteries, but I also put my life on a definite track to the happiness for which I’ve been forever searching.

I can’t recall when I’ve been this upbeat, and I will continue to move forward until I reach my goal.  There will be no steps backward, no moments of hesitation, and no cracks in my resolve to allow any form of stress or negativity to ruin my buzz.

That’s why I really think you should mow my lawn.

It's been an uphill battle, but happiness is almost mine!You’d think after thirteen years, this lawn would be able to take care of itself.  As much as I don’t like mowing it, I am very pleased at how well it’s come in this year.

A few years ago, the neighborhood was attacked by grubs, and my lawn was left with horrible bald patches.  My neighbor helped me to reseed it, and it’s taken some time, but it is now greener and fuller than ever.

Which goes to show you that the grass is always greener once you invest a little money, time, and patience towards its coloring.

Even though I hate mowing my lawn, I’m very positive about how wonderful it looks.  I understand that I need to tend to it to keep it looking its best.

Actually, what I realize is that someone needs to trim my lawn.

There’s no law that says it has to be me.

So what weekend will you be mowing it for me?

Follow me on Pinterest and earn a second week of lawn mowing duty!


About Austin

Native New Yorker who's fled to the quiet life in Maine. I write movies, root for the Yankees, and shovel lots of snow.
This entry was posted in Humor, Philosophy and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Why I Think You Should Mow My Lawn

  1. You certainly make a compelling case, and I admit that I was tempted to volunteer for such a noble and righteous cause.

    However, at the end of the day, the allure of doing nothing has proved much too persuasive, and I regret that I will not be able to proffer my lawn-mowing acumen. My overwhelming laziness is a hurdle that I simply can’t leap, no matter how well-articulated the opposing argument.

  2. grannyK says:

    Put me down for July, 2020!

  3. Sheila Moss says:

    I thought you were so into physical fitness?Why deprive yourself of a naturally occurring opportunity?

  4. Joseph Nebus says:

    I should warn you, I’ve gotten in the habit of mowing the lawn on a diagonal, which makes the front yard look that little bit more like a minor-league baseball park.

  5. Would love to help you out buddy, but I don’t even mow my own lawn. Hubby takes that as one of his manly man activities, and even though I want to pay a kid to do it, he won’t give it up. You don’t think it’s cause he wants an hour or two of peace every weekend do you? As in, the whirr of the mower is more soothing than my voice? Nah.

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